


I wish you didn't have to see me like this

by papercutlife



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Attempted Murder, Best Friends, Boys Kissing, Boys' Love, Caring, Depression, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kissing, M/M, Nervousness, Sad with a Happy Ending, School, Touching, Trust Issues, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21794821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/papercutlife/pseuds/papercutlife
Summary: Eren and Levi used to be best friends, but then everything changed. What incident eventually draws the boys back together?Or where Levi is suffering by a tyrant's hand and Eren notices a little bit too late.' Levi’s eyes slightly opened, steely grey flashing from under the eyelids. “I wish you didn’t have to see this,” he croaked, voice filled with emotion.“No,” Eren murmured, “I wish you didn’t have to see this.” '
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 29
Kudos: 79





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back with another story! I know none of the other ones is finished, but screw that, I'm addicted to this ship and y'all soon be too! I wish you good reading. And don't forget to give kudos babesss!

“What’s up with that Ackerman boy? He’s been a little bit off lately,” Jean took a last drag from his cigarette and threw the fag into the bushes.

“One day you’re gonna set this place on fire,” Eren muttered, stepping on the fag he dropped to the ground just seconds ago. “Why would I care about Ackerman? I have enough shit on my own plate, we haven’t talked for years.” Jean’s look was reproaching, Eren frowned. “Do I look like a ‘make a wish’ to you?” He snorted and started walking towards the school entrance.

“I’m not,” Jean disputed scratching his nape. “I’m just making conversation.”

“Well, this conversation is about to take a different turn if you wanna keep being my friend.”

Jean rolled his eyes and nudged Eren with his shoulder, “c’mon mate, you know he didn’t mean to do that. He was your friend too, remember? It’s been years, you two should bury a hatchet.”

Eren huffed, “you asked for it,” he spoke in a singsong voice, turning on the ball of his feet and storming away.

He managed to ignore Jean for the rest of the day, but he just couldn’t ignore certain Levi Ackerman, who was sagging across the hallways like a ghost, his face pale and short straight hair disheveled. Eren could swear he saw a faint limp in his usual confident way of walking. Was Jean right? Was there something off with Levi Ackerman? Eren wouldn’t know nor care, but he was already alerted and now he was curious, to say the least.

.

“Eren, wake up you dumbass,” Eren heard his sister hammering her fist violently to his room door.

He turned to his side, covering his ear with a pillow and screwing his eyes shut, wanting to sleep at least for another ten more minutes.

“You’re giving me a lift to school today!” Mikasa yelled, aggravated. “It’s pissing rain outside, I ain’t walking in that weather. I’d be drenched by the time I’d get there!”

Eren groaned, “go by bus, flag a taxi, I don’t give a damn. I want to sleep.”

Mikasa cursed under her breath, stomping down the hall and back to her own room. Eren rubbed his eyes and sighed, outside was darker than usual, grey clouds floating low above the city, occasional lightning splitting the sky.

He got up and searched for his clothes from yesterday. He found none, which meant his mother already took them and threw them into the washing machine. Considering the cold weather, he opted for a simple white shirt, black hoodie and ripped skinny jeans. He ran to the bathroom, quickly washing his face, brushing his teeth and for a moment even trying to tame his hair, which turned to be a vain attempt anyway. When he finally made it to the kitchen, he found Mikasa standing by the main door with a smirk on her face. She threw his car keys at him, telling him to eat something on the way. Eren wanted to protest, but she was already outside, so he just grabbed a protein bar and followed behind.

“How does it feel, not to be late for once?” Mikasa asked when Eren stopped at her school gate. Eren was so happy his sister was still attending elementary school, no one knew about his smoking habit and he planned on keeping it that way.

“Keep your mouth shut, smarty pants,” Eren grumbled sleepily and reached his hand to close the car door right in front of her face.

He decided to take a shortcut so he could have a smoke with his mates before school starts and actually make it to his first class in time for once, as Mikasa aptly pointed out. He was just about to leave the main street, squinting through the heavy rain which not even the wipers were able to completely remove from his vision, when he saw him. He was walking on the sidewalk, shoulders hunched, long arms wrapped around his slender torso. He was soaking wet and even looking at him made Eren shiver with cold. Eren slowed down as he approached him, rolling down the window and searching for the courage to speak up. Levi noticed the car and stopped to look who’s inside, his eyebrows shot up to his hairline when he spotted Eren, his eyes instantly filled with fear and guilt. He looked away tentatively, shoving his hands to the pockets of his jeans, swaying on his feet.

“Get in,” Eren said curtly and motioned to the passenger seat.

Levi looked behind him, making sure it was really him Eren was talking to. If it was anybody else but Levi Ackerman, Eren would actually find his action kind of adorable.

“Okay,” Levi whispered to the rain and Eren could only make out what he said from the way his lips moved.

The older boy opened the car door and slumped down next to Eren, his drenched hoodie immediately getting the seat wet. Eren sighed and stepped on the gas, this was going to be a long day. His eyes flickered to Levi when he thought the boy wasn’t looking. His head was bowed, soft steely eyes trained on his hands gently splayed on his thighs.

“Why didn’t you take the bus?” Eren asked when the silence started to be suffocating.

Levi’s face went pale, he was now nervously fiddling with his hands. “Couldn’t find my wallet,” he shrugged, trying to sound casual.

Eren wasn’t buying it, but he didn’t say anything nevertheless. He was now sure that there was something off with Levi and for some odd reason, he was mad that Jean had to point it out, that he didn’t notice himself. When he finally found a spot on a school parking lot and killed the engine, Levi abruptly got out of the car, tripping over his own feet in the process, and quickly walked away.

Eren didn’t make it to his first class even though he could. He just had to clear his head a little, so he hid in a shed behind the school building and lightened up a cigarette, dense smoke coming out of his mouth calming his nerves.

.

“Where have you been, you twat?” Jean kicked Eren harshly in the shin.

“Ow,” Eren yelped and kicked Jean back. “I skipped, didn’t feel like writing a test so early in the morning.”

“Wow, but you left me there alone to write it. I had no one to copy the answers from! You’re really the greatest best friend ever!” Jean whined and folded his arms over his chest in exasperation.

“Don’t be overdramatic,” Eren rolled his eyes, but a small satisfied smile played on his lips. “I have geography now, so I guess I’ll see you at lunch.”

“You bet you will, I’ll annoy you until the end of the days!” the brown-haired boy shouted after him, but Eren just flipped him off and disappeared behind the corner.

He had three more minutes before the class started, so he headed to the bathrooms. His hand stilled on the door handle when he heard muffled sobs coming out of one of the stalls in the very back of the room.

He was just about to speak up when a faint voice cut into the silence of the room. Eren’s own voice got caught in his throat when he realized he knows that voice all too well.

“You can’t do this anymore,” Levi cried, his breathing ragged. “Soon, they’ll notice. I can’t do anything about it!” He suddenly shouted, angry, but continued with an earnest apology. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. No, please, I won’t say anything again. Please, just…” he stopped, obviously noticing that the person he was talking to hung up on him. And then he went on crying, he cried so brokenly and hopelessly, and Eren’s chest clenched with worry about the suffering boy, his heart aching. He leaned on one of the basins, waiting for Levi’s cries to subside. He no longer cared for geography, he no longer cared about their old strife, he just wanted to know what was happening with that usually relatively happy boy, who used to be all smiles and joy. He wanted to know what was happening with his former best friend. It was long past the bell announcing the start of the second class when the door to the stall finally opened and there stood Levi, eyes puffy, face swollen from crying. He was in his usual attire, grey worn out hoodie looking too big on him, black skinny jeans clinging nicely to his lean legs, feet cladded in scruffy old Vans. His eyes widened in horror when they landed on Eren.

“Oh my god,” he whispered.

“Levi,” Eren started but was instantly cut off.

“How long have you been here?”

Eren cleared his throat, “long enough.”

More tears started welling up in Levi’s eyes as he pushed pass Eren and ran out of the bathroom. For a moment, Eren contemplated running after him, but he concluded that wouldn’t be such a good idea given the state Levi was in. So, he just slid down the wall on the tiled floor, rubbing his temples and thinking about what mess has he got himself into.

.

The next day, Eren woke up to his phone buzzing obnoxiously on his nightstand. He rolled his eyes when he saw the name that flashed on the screen.

“I’m not going for a morning run with you, Connie,” he sneered into the phone right after he picked up.

“But… why?” Connie whined and Eren could almost see the pout on his lips.

“Because,” Eren answered simply and was about to end the call, when Connie screamed into the speaker.

“I’ll buy you coffee and donuts on our way back! I know you’re broke and your mom only feeds you rice and vegetables!” Connie was obviously exaggerating, but when Eren thought about it, he wasn’t that far from the true.

“Okay,” he huffed, “okay, fine, you win!”

“I’ll be at yours in twenty minutes, hurry up Er!” he chirped and hung up.

Eren buried his head in the pillows with a loud groan. Fucking Connie, dragging him out of his warm bed on Saturday morning. He quickly put some clothes on and freshened up before jogging down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“I’m going for a run with Connie,” he announced towards his mom who was sat at the dining table in her purple dressing gown, reading newspapers and drinking tea.

“Alright,” she hummed, “that Connie boy keeps you in shape, you should stick with him.”

“Mom, you don’t stick with people just because they keep you in shape or buy you donuts,” Eren grumbled while tying his shoelaces.

Eren’s mother perked up, “who buys you donuts?”

“Bye mom!” Eren shouted and slammed the front door behind him.


	2. The last slice of pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe there's something really wrong with Levi. But what it is?

“How do you,” Eren huffed, out of breath, “how do you do this every day? I’m dying over here, don’t you dare run another lap!”

Connie just laughed and clapped Eren’ back, still bouncing on the spot. They’ve just finished the first lap around the park which apparently wasn’t enough for the bulky boy.

“C’mon mate,” Connie bellowed loudly, puffing small clouds of steam out of his mouth. “You’ve ran like three miles! That’s not enough.”

Eren frowned, throwing his small hands in the air. “I’m not running anymore, Connie! You’re like a running machine, a fucking monster! I need my daily dose of sugar, come and buy me the donuts you promised.”

“Nope,” Connie said, popping the p. Eren just cursed under his breath and gave him a pointed look. “Okay fine, but I’m gonna do two more laps, you wait here.”

And before Eren could muster the strength to protest, Connie was gone. He waited for another five minutes and when his fingers started to freeze, he decided that donuts and a cup of coffee aren’t worth the cold he would get if he stayed here a minute longer. Pulling on his hood and stuffing his hands into his pockets, he headed home. He shot an angry look towards the murky sky as small raindrops started falling on his hoodie. Soon it was drizzling and Eren was frowning even more, because all of this was unnecessary and he didn’t even get his breakfast out of it. He turned around the corner of a local grocery shop, quickening his pace. It was full on raining now, trees bending under the weight of water, people running to quickly hide in their homes. Eren swore to himself he will kick Connie in the balls the next time he sees him. He passed Jean’s house, briefly wondering if he could maybe hide there until the shower is over. He almost decided to turn around and go knocking at his door, but his eyes landed on a dark figure sitting on a pavement just a few houses away from him.

“Hey, you alright there, mate?” Eren shouted, running up to the slouching boy.

He put his hand on his damp shoulder, noticing a few strands of hair falling out of the boy’s hoodie. He should have known, he should have known that when the boy lifts his face to search his eyes, he’ll be met with the infinite silver gray again. Levi Ackerman was just messing with his head, it was like Jean called it upon him. Confusion took over the older boy’s features, rain falling on his exposed face, polling under his eyes and mixing with tears he was trying to wipe with his sleeve. He shied away from Eren’s touch, curling into a small ball and rocking back and forth.

Eren wasn’t having this, what if he caught a cold? Or pneumonia? “Why aren’t you at home?” he asked, pointing to the house behind him and sounding like a worried mother. Levi just shook his head and shrugged. “Levi, mate, stand up,” Eren commanded and surprisingly, Levi did as he was told. He looked scared to say the least. And suddenly Eren just couldn’t hold any grudges anymore, all the built-up anger washing away, only concern about this broken boy flooding his whole body. He squinted through the vail of rain, which was now so dense he almost couldn’t see where he was going and motioned for Levi to follow. At first, he seemed reluctant, but it only took one warning look from Eren and he slowly started trailing behind him.

They finally reached Eren’s house, walking up the front stairs in no hurry at all. They were wet from head to toes anyway and Eren was afraid someone would still be home, even though he knew his sister was meant to be at their grandma’s and his mother was working over weekends. He fumbled with the keys for a moment before he managed stick the right one into the lock and open the door. Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside and toed off his shoes, noticing that Levi was still unsurely standing on a threshold. Eren rolled his eyes involuntarily, stepping up to the boy and pulling him inside. He thought he heard a soft whimper coming out of his lips but decided to ignore it for now.

“We should find you some dry clothes, hm?” Eren murmured, “I’m a bit taller than you, but I’m sure at least one of my smaller hoodies will do it for you.” Eren tried to speak lightly, because Levi seemed to be on the verge of tears yet again.

“But you’re wet too,” Levi objected weakly, worrying his bottom lip with teeth.

Eren chuckled, “don’t worry about me, Lee.”

It slipped, he almost forgot he used to call him by this nickname all the time. It just felt so natural to say it again, even after so long, it felt like they were fifteen again. Eren stopped in his tracks, carefully turning around to see if Levi noticed his slip up. If he did, he certainly didn’t let it show.

Eren’s room looked exactly the same as the last time Levi visited, light gray walls covered with posters of football players, school textbooks scattered on his desk and around an equally messy unmade bed. It’s been three years since Levi’s last visit. They both knew this, and it hang between them like a dark cloud, reminiscing the times they spent talking and laughing together carelessly on that very place.

“Here, this should fit you,” Eren handed Levi a pile of clothes after rummaging in his closet a bit too long.

Levi just nodded, taking the clothes from the younger boy and turning to leave. Eren just rose one eyebrow questioningly.

“I- “Levi stuttered, “can I change in the bathroom, please?”

Eren shrugged, stripping off his clothes comfortably in front the other boy. “Sure, suit yourself, mate.”

Eren remembered Levi as the guy who had no shame at all, running around his house almost naked and making naughty jokes while his mother was right behind the corner. Either Levi changed immensely while they weren’t speaking, or he was hiding something.

“Thank you,” a quiet soft voice spoke behind him, startling him.

“Yeah, of course, no problem,” Eren rambled, zipping up his sweatshirt.

He turned around and looked at the boy shuffling nervously under his scrutiny. His hair grew quite so long, Eren noticed, long gone was the undercut he was sporting back when they were younger, but he hasn’t grown up an inch. They used to be the same height, but now Eren was good two inches taller. However, the main thing that caught Eren’s eye was how thin and tired he looked. Prominent collarbones and thin wrists, dark circles under his eyes. Eren’s smaller hoodie made it even more noticeable, Levi was apparently wearing oversized clothes to look thicker.

Eren cleaned his throat, “Levi, is something wrong?”

A hint of fear flashed in the boy’s wide looking eyes and he took a step back. “No,” he said maybe too quickly.

Eren soon realized this was not the way to deal with this situation. He’s gonna have to go slow, find out what bothers Levi and help him solve the problem. Because that’s what friends do, don’t they? But they’re not friends, not anymore. He cut himself off in the middle of this ridiculous inner monologue of his because, why was he even thinking like that? Why would he ask Levi to come home with him? Couldn’t he just let him sit on that damn pavement in front of his house? The answer was easy, he couldn’t, he would sit there in that fucking rain with him rather than leave him alone. He sighed, he knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but he was willing to try. He was willing to be there for the boy who completely ruined his first year of high school. Levi was still timidly standing on the same place, looking everywhere but at Eren.

“Let’s grab something to eat,” Eren spoke up nonchalantly, giving the other boy an encouraging smile. “It doesn’t look like it should stop raining any time soon,” he added glancing towards the window.

“Okay,” Levi whispered, his lips forming a small half smile. Eren felt ecstatic.

Eren jogged down the stairs with a wide grin on his face, expectantly opening the fridge once he got into the kitchen. It was empty apart from a bottle of mayo, some lettuce and a few cans of coke. It was times like these when it hit him just how often his mother worked and how he didn’t see her as much as he used to. He quickly smoothened his features and turned to Levi, smile back on his face.

“We’re gonna have to order in, do you mind?” He asked politely, biting his cheek.

“No,” Levi breathed, “I just, I didn’t bring my wallet.”

“That’s okay, mate, I got you!” Eren assured lightly, clapping Levi’s back as he went to grab his phone.

Levi flinched, slouching visibly but straightening up right after, obviously trying not to raise any more suspicion. There was something so wrong with the boy and Eren set his mind on finding out what it was.

He plopped down on a sofa in the living room, patting the spot beside him. “I had Thai food yesterday and Chinese the day before,” he hummed with a frown, “so I’m thinking pizza maybe?” He asked, hoping that Levi would agree.

“I’m having whatever you choose,” Levi smiled bashfully, sitting down next to Eren.

Eren huffed, “fine. So that’s a large pizza with double cheese, salami, spinach and pineapple.”

“Oh wow,” Levi blurted, clasping his small bony hand across his mouth, small giggle escaping his lips. “That’s a lot.”

Eren raised his brows, not being able to focus on anything else but the fact that it was him who emitted the sweet sound out of the older boy. “What did you expect, Lee? Boring Margarita, or just plain dough?” He teased, nudging Levi’s side with his toe.

Levi laughed again, and Eren thought he could listen to that voice for the rest of his life. He watched Levi bite his lip, as if his brain finally caught up with his actions and he realized he did something wrong, his face saddening, he lowered his gaze and started playing with the loose threads on Eren’s hoodie.

Eren opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off before he even started.

“You haven’t ordered yet,” Levi pointed out, motioning to the phone.

“Right,” Eren sighed.

Every attempt to start a conversation on the sensitive topic was subtly put down by the other lad and Eren didn’t know what to do, he didn’t expect it to be that hard. He dialed the right number placed the order. They waited in silence, Levi focusing on his hands folded in his lap and Eren focusing on Levi, trying to figure him out. By the time their food arrived, the rain subsided a little and Levi’s clothes dried off on a radiator. He went upstairs to change and returned with the clothes Eren had given him all folded up in a neat pile.

“I’ll wash it for you, if you want,” he mumbled unsurely, looking around to find a place where he could put the pile aside.

Levi was utterly endearing, Eren felt mesmerized. “That’s okay, Lee, don’t worry about it and come eat,” he said, opening the box with pizza he took from the delivery boy in the meantime.

“Okay,” Levi whispered and Eren thought that he did that a lot. Whispering his quiet one-word answers, agreeing to everything he proposed, obeying.

They dug in, Levi picking up the largest slice and taking big bites and looking like he hasn’t eaten for ages. Eren furtively pushed the last slice of his half towards Levi and the boy took it without hesitation. How could he be so scrawny when he ate so much, Eren wondered. Maybe he didn’t, maybe this was his first proper meal in god know how long. Hell, this wasn’t even a proper meal.

“Oh my god,” Levi looked at Eren suddenly, his droopy eyes largening in horror. “The last slice was yours, I’m so sorry, Er, I didn’t even notice. Oh my god.”

He looked so upset and guilty, like a puppy who just ripped his master’s new shoes apart. Eren wanted to be amused by it, but when he saw the distress Levi was obviously in, he decided against it.

“I gave it to you, Levi,” he murmured lowly. “I was full, so I pushed it towards you. You just didn’t notice I guess.”

“Oh,” Levi said, brows knitting together in a firm line. “I, uh, look, it stopped raining. I should probably go.” He stood up clumsily, almost knocking over the chair, which led to another wave of apologies.

It was true, the sky wasn’t clear yet, but the angry dark clouds were slowly retreating. Eren briefly thought about keeping Levi in his house for a little bit longer, but his face expression was so excruciating that he simply agreed.


	3. Are you avoiding school?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thanks for all the kudos. I'm glad you're liking my story. :)) Today's chapter is a bit shorter, but be prepared for the next one, cause it's gonna be goood. So as always, give kudos and comment, because it makes my day. Byeeee! *-*

“Are you avoiding school?” Jean questioned in an inquiring voice on Monday during lunch.

“No, I’m just busy,” Eren muttered, shoving another spoonful of strawberry pudding in his mouth.

They were sat in the very back of the cafeteria, just Eren and his best mates, Jean, Connie and Armin. Eren, usually the chattiest of them all, was suspiciously silent that day. Chewing thoughtfully, eyes trained somewhere behind Armin’s head.

“Busy doing what?” Connie chuckled, “you avoid running too! Don’t say you’re studying, no one is gonna believe that shit.”

“I’m thinking,” Eren groaned, aggravated. “Can’t you just let me think for once?”

“What ya thinking about, eh?” Armin finally looked up from his fries with the sleaziest smirk on his face. “I bet it’s Levi.”

Eren almost choked on a piece of strawberry, coughing and spluttering all around him. “Excuse me, Armin?”

“Jean told me that he piques your interest, that you’re throwing eyes at him.” Armin continued in a self-indulgent voice, picking at his fries seamlessly and pretending he’s not trying to wind Eren up.

“I’m not throwing eyes at anyone,” the green-eyed boy growled through gritted teeth.

“Why are we so angry all of a sudden, baby Er?” Armin taunted, pointing at Eren with his plastic fork. “Is it because I hit the nail on the head?”

By then, Connie and Jean were laughing so hard they were almost rolling on the floor. Clutching their stomachs and emitting the weirdest noises anyone has ever heard, they pretended to look at each other lovingly, sending kisses and batting their eyelashes.

“I hate you all,” Eren sighed, rubbing his temples in exasperation. “I’m going to the library. To study,” he emphasized as he passed Connie, flicking his head.

“Whatever you say, _iminlovewithlevi_ boy!” Jean shouted after him and half of the cafeteria instantly turned to look at Eren.

“Fucking moron,” Eren muttered, storming out of the place as fast as he could.

.

Eren was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and absentmindedly tracing embroidered patterns on his comforter. He was supposed to study for tomorrow test, but he just couldn’t force himself to do it. His brain was full of steely gray and black strands of hair and long pale fingers. He couldn’t stop thinking about Levi and the downcast look he gave him before he turned around and left his house the other day. He couldn’t stop thinking about his jerky moves and trembling fingers, he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he looked completely broken and that he was all alone in whatever mess he got himself into. Eren huffed and turned to his side, burying his face into a pillow.

“Eren honey,” he heard his mother’s voice coming from downstairs, “why is there blood on your hoodie? Have you hurt yourself darling?”

Eren frowned, quickly hopping off the bed and skipping to the living room. There stood his mother with the pile of clothes Levi left there and Eren forgot to put into a washing machine, she had a confused look on her face when noticing her son is completely unharmed and cheery as usual. Eren skimmed the back of the hoodie with his eyes and yes, there it was on the left shoulder, a big red stain of blood. He tried to reply all the events of the day he brought Levi home in his head, all of the moments he shied away from his touch or flinched when actually being touched. And he remembered.

_“We’re gonna have to order in, do you mind?”_

_“No, I just, I didn’t bring my wallet.”_

_“That’s okay, mate, I got you!”_

After that, Eren clapped Levi on the back as if to say that it was alright, and now when he thought about it, he might have actually heard Levi hiss in pain.

“I had a nosebleed,” Eren blurted out abruptly, looking alarmed. “I don’t know how it got there, but I swear it was just a nosebleed.”

His mother squinted her eyes at him, walking towards the laundry room. “If you say so, I’m just making sure you’re not picking fights again.” She said, stuffing the clothes into the washing machine and turning it on.

“I’m not picking fights, mom! I’m not fifteen anymore,” he whined, folding his arms over his chest, sulking.

“I made you dinner,” his mother announced, “I have a night shift tonight, Mikasa went to Sasha’s, she’s probably staying the night. Will you be alright alone here?” she asked, voice tinted with concern.

Eren’s upset demeanor immediately softened, “of course I will, mom. I’m always alright, am I not?”

“I just, I know I work too much,” she sighed, “but you must know that I only want the best for you.”

Eren launched at her, hugging her tightly. “I know, mum, don’t worry about me, I’m fine.”

She just nodded into his shoulder and when she pulled away, Eren could see that her eyes were somewhat watery. He just smiled warmly, going to the kitchen and grabbing the plate that was laid on the unit for him.

.

The rain was wetting the streets of Trost yet again, Eren wasn’t even surprised anymore, annoyed would be more fitting. It was Tuesday and he had to walk to school, because his mother insisted on taking the car. He covered his face with a hood and wrapped his hands around his torso to prevent more raindrops from falling under his clothes. For the past three days, Levi Ackerman hasn’t left his mind. Eren had so many assignments to finish, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do any of them, because of that certain scrawny boy. He wasn’t stupid, he had his suspicions. What if Levi got beaten at home? What if they didn’t take proper care of him? What if his own house was a living hell? Eren heard the stories, he read the articles, god, he’s even seen a documentary on that topic. Domestic violence was everywhere around him, it was just really hard to spot. But Eren was too afraid to ask, because this simply didn’t add up. He knew Kuchel and Reiss very well, they were the kindest people he’s ever met. He and Levi used to always play in their house when they were kids, and throughout the whole time, Eren didn’t witness anything else but love and care. He glowered at his feet as he stepped into a big puddle, water completely soaking his new Vans. There was no doubt Levi was in trouble, and Eren had to figure out what kind of trouble it was before he failed all of his classes due to the poor job he’s been doing lately. He also had this feeling that he was about to be late again, and that feeling grew even deeper when he saw a small withering figure stumbling out of the front door of a big house right in the middle of the street Eren was walking on. Levi tripped while running down the stairs and fell on the ground face forward. Eren ran towards him with absolute horror in his eyes. How does this even happen, why are they keep bumping into each other in such uncomfortable situations?

“God, Levi, are you okay?” Eren almost shouted, helping the boy stand up.

Levi whimpered, clutching his side and placing a hand on his ribs, unsurely wobbling on his feet. He had a big scratch on his forehead that just wouldn’t stop bleeding and his lip was torn in the middle. However, he still tried to muster a smile and act like everything was okay in front of the older boy.

“I’m fine,” he grunted, biting his cheek.

“Yeah, I’m not buying it,” Eren muttered, swinging his bag on another shoulder and taking a solid grip on Levi’s arm, supporting him. “Can you walk?” he asked cautiously.

“You’ll miss school, Eren,” Levi protested weakly.

“I asked you something,” Eren pressed, instantly regretting his harsh tone.

Levi cowered down, making himself as small as possible, instinctively covering his face with his hands. Eren crouched next to him, wrapping his arms around the boy protectively and pressing him gently to his chest. And this time, Levi didn’t try to run away, he crumbled in his embrace, sobbing and hiccupping, wetting’s hoodie alongside with the rain. Eren didn’t mind.

“Let it out,” he coaxed softly, “let it out, Lee.”

“I’m so scared, Eren,” he whimpered, “so scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“I can’t tell,” Levi was suddenly upset again, “you can’t tell. Eren, no one can know about this,” he motioned to himself, crying even harder, rocking from side to side like a complete lunatic.

“Okay, okay,” Eren soothed, “no one will know, I promise. But only if you’ll come with me now and let me take care of you, alright? You’ll be sick if you stay here alone.”

“Okay,” Levi whispered resignedly, clumsily getting on his feet again and following Eren towards his house.


	4. Getting beaten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm so happy that this fic is getting some attention, I honestly didn't expect it and I'm very grateful. Here's another chapter, a lot of stress, angst and fluff. Enojy and don't forget to leave a comment, because I'm thriving on those ahahahah.😍❤️

Eren basically carried Levi to his room, because in the end of the way, the boy could barely walk. He laid him on his bed and Levi immediately curled up into a small ball, pressing his knees to his chest and turning his face away in shame.

“Levi, love,” Eren began, stopping himself breathily, taken aback by his own words. Levi gasped, looking at the other lad, wide eyed and curious. “Levi,” Eren continued as if nothing happened, “you need to trust me with this. I can be there for you, but only if you let me. You used to trust me,” he trailed, but got himself together quickly, “and you know very well that I would never do you any harm. You don’t have to be in this alone, Lee.”

Levi gulped, obviously contemplating whether to say something, or not. He stayed silent.

Eren sighed, “will you at least let me clean the cuts? It could get infected, and we don’t want that, do we?”

“No, no we don’t,” Levi mumbled tiredly, instinctively covering as much of his body as he could with his arms, biting his cheek, surely drawing out blood. “All of them?” he suddenly blurted, nervously shuffling his feet.

“All of them?” Eren repeated dumbly, “you mean, there is more?”

“N-no?” Levi choked out, looking panicked.

Eren sat on the edge of the bed and gently caressed the older boy’s cheek. He thought Levi could use some kind of affection, he seemed so alone all the time. So alone and so, so broken.

“Take off your shirt,” Eren spoke up in a commanding voice.

“Wha-, what?” Levi stuttered, scooting away.

Eren ran to the bathroom and returned with a first-aid kit and bowl of water. He tossed the kit on the bed and sat next to Levi, slowly putting down the bowl and looking him straight in the eye, trying to stay focused on the task at hand.

“Levi, the only thing I want is to help you,” Eren articulated slowly. “Don’t do this to yourself, you can’t run forever.” He started stroking the boy’s arm, gently tugging on his sleeve.

And this was all it took for Levi to oblige, “okay,” he whispered and started stripping from the piece of clothing.

Eren’ breath hitched in his throat as he tried to speak, tears pooling in his eyes. Levi’s body was littered with wounds. Bruises and scratches, but most of all, deep long welts on his back. He went back to the night when his mother found the blood on Levi’s hoodie and everything clicked. Eren must have ruptured one of the welts when he clapped Levi on the back. Eren tried to blink the tears away, but they escaped his eyes anyway. He let out a broken sob before he was wrapping his arms protectively around the older boy’s naked form, trying not to put any pressure on the injuries and make him feel safe and loved at the same time. He nuzzled his nose into his smooth black hair, taking in the sweet scent of apples and cinnamon. Levi leaned against him, but he looked tense.

“Please, don’t cry,” he murmured, squeezing Eren’s hand in his smaller one.

Eren huffed and opened the kit, rummaging in it until he found disinfection and some bandages. He wettened a piece of cloth and started cleaning Levi’s face. The boy flinched at the first touch, but then stayed completely silent throughout the whole process. It only showed how much worse he had to live through. Eren gingerly dabbed on his lip, making him hiss.

“Sorry, what about your side?” he asked worriedly, lifting Levi’s arm and checking his ribs. “There’s gonna be a bruise twice the size of Shiganshina District,” he muttered absentmindedly to himself and Levi chuckled. Eren’s head snapped up to look at him, agitated. “You’re covered in wounds, Lee, stop laughing,” he scolded, placing a plaster over the cut on Levi’s forehead.

Levi lowered his gaze, fumbling with his hands. He looked so small as he self-consciously tried to hide himself away from the world and Eren got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, the need to protect the sweet silver-eyed boy from any further harm.

“I don’t think there’s much we can do with these nasties,” Eren murmured, tracing his finger over the puffy soft skin around one of the welts. “I have an ointment from the time when I injured myself while playing footie, I think that it could do the work. Lay on your stomach, I’ll be right back,” he said and without looking at the other boy twice, he left the room to get it.

He returned, finding Levi sitting in the same exact spot, stiffly looking ahead of himself. It almost looked like he was in some kind of catatonic state, not moving an inch, his breaths uneven and ragged. Eren dropped the little box he took from the bathroom, kneeling in front of the boy in a blink of an eye.

“Lee,” he whispered, “Levi!” He shouted when he got no response.

Levi snapped out of his thoughts, single tear rolling down his cheek. His eyes were full of fear and terror, lips wobbly, hands shaking. “He always says that,” he choked out and broke down crying.

Eren knew that there was no point in asking who in that particular moment. Who changed the out going cheery boy into this terrified mess of scars and wounds? Who could be so heartless to hit that angelic face framed with all those strands of silky raven hair? Who could bruise that milky skin that smelled like green apples and cinnamon? Who would wanna see those grey, oh so grey, eyes cry? Eren didn’t understand, he didn’t want to understand.

“Levi, love,” he said and caressed his cheek. Levi leaned into the touch, silent tears still streaming down his face like waterfalls. “Listen to me carefully, okay?” Eren articulated, cupping the boy’s face and making him to look at him. “I’m not gonna hurt you, ever. None of those things that happened to you will repeat themselves in this house. You are completely safe here, you can stay here as long as you want. I want to help you and I won’t stop wanting to help you until you’re alright again. Whatever you want to say, whatever bothers you, say it to me and I’ll be here to listen. I know we had some beef, but that’s all forgotten now, all in the past. You are a wonderful person a whoever does this to you deserves to be punished. You can always rely on me, you can trust me.”

Levi’s eyes flickered to meet his and he spoke up, his voice wavering. “Why would you forgive me? You said you hated me, that you never wanted to see me again. And I get it, I do, but…”

“Levi,” Eren said softly, “lay on your stomach, I won’t hurt you. You know it, deep inside you know that I could never hate you, that I would never hurt you.”

The older boy tucked some of the lose strands of silky hair behind his ear, jaw clenching and unclenching a few times, face pale and expressionless. He was obviously contemplating whether to trust Eren or not. And just when Eren wanted to give up and go fetch him some t shirt, Levi turned around and gingerly lowered himself onto the mattress, splaying his body on display in front of Eren. It showed just how much faith and trust he put into him.

“Thank you,” Eren whispered and ever so gently started rubbing the ointment into the ruptured skin.

The welts were deep, but already healing. Some of them had dark purple bruises forming around them and all of them would definitely leave scars. Eren felt a sudden urge to touch them… with his lips. To kiss the edges of the jagged skin, to give love and comfort. He pushed the thought into the back of his mind and started putting bandages over the wounds.

“There,” he murmured, “all done.” There was no response, “Lee?” Eren asked, worry written all over his face. Levi was asleep, soft breaths coming out of his lips, occasional snore filling the room. He looked relaxed, all those angry lines on his forehead smoothened out, tension leaving his body and being replaced by quiet peace. And Eren let him have that moment of peace, because he knew that’s exactly what he doesn’t get at home. Sleep, care, love and peace.


	5. It sounded like a promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a day! Yaaayyyyy! I'm a really impatient and unorganized person, so my updates are always all over the place. But I have still something up my sleeve, so here you go, darlings. Kudos and comments are as always very appreciated. :33

Levi stayed the night, Eren didn’t feel the need to wake him up, considering no one was home and they could just leave for school together the next day. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, he barely admitted it to himself, but he spent majority of the night sitting on the edge of his bed, watching the older boy’s face. Long hair splayed on the pillow, lips parted in the most adorable way, prominent jaw flexing when he gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing, eyes occasionally moving under closed eyelids. Eren didn’t want to let any moment he could spend with the boy slip under his fingers. He cherished the thought that Levi could maybe like him too. But did he like Levi? They haven’t talked for ages and the only reason they resumed to do so was because of Levi’s issues. Eren had a dilemma to solve and he didn’t even know where it came from in the first place. Levi betrayed him, and of course Eren could forgive him, but there was no way he could move on so fast. Levi stirred and grunted from his sleep just when Eren’s eyes started drooping for the hundredth time that night. He immediately straightened up and put on an unconvincing smile. Levi blinked a few times, slowly realizing where he was, and then sat up abruptly.

“Oh my god,” he gasped, anguish in his voice almost touchable. “I stayed the night.”

“That you did,” Eren murmured softly, not entirely sure what made Levi act this way. “We can go to school together, I’ll make us pancakes. I know you like them.”

Levi tugged on his hair in exasperation, “you don’t understand,” he wheezed, standing up and searching for his clothes. “My… I’m gonna get in trouble.”

Realization hit Eren like a rock. What was he thinking? That he’s going to miraculously save Levi from all the harm in the world in one day? To be honest, he completely forgot Levi had his own home for a while. There wasn’t much he knew about his situation, but he was certain that the smaller lad is going to be punished for this. He grabbed his forearm as he was trying to shove his legs into his jeans.

“Is there a point in coming back now, Levi?” he asked, eyeing the boy carefully. “I mean, you don’t want to get beaten twice, do you?”

“I don’t get bea- “Levi began but stopped himself mid-sentence, knowing that it was useless to deny the fact that he was abused now. “I guess you’re right,” he sighed and sat back on the bed.

Eren briefly touched Levi’s shoulder, savoring the warm feeling that ran through his whole body. “I’m going to make us the pancakes,” he shouted on his way to the kitchen and tried not to think about just how domestic that sounded.

He had to stop thinking like this, he wasn’t even sure Levi was… like him. How did it even happen? Was it out of pity? Did he have some hero complex he had to indulge? He huffed, slamming the box with pancake powder on the table. His emotions were messing with his head, he couldn’t, he just couldn’t let them cloud his judgement. Not in that moment.

“Is everything alright?” a timid voice sounded from the hallway.

“Yes,” Eren answered swiftly, maybe louder than he intended.

“Okay,” Levi whispered and came to sit on the opposite side of the table.

Eren expected it to be a bit awkward, him making them breakfast and Levi watching him with those droopy mysterious eyes, scrutinizing his every move. But it wasn’t, it was in fact very comfortable, very reassuring in a way. That Levi was there, that Eren didn’t have to think about what could be happening to him wherever he was.

“Alright, there you go,” he said after a few minutes of a complete silence in which he tried not to burn Levi’s breakfast and arrange it on a plate, so it looked somewhat presentable. “I’m not the best cook but pancakes I can do.” Eren mumbled almost incoherently and covered Levi’s plate with a generous amount of sugar.

Levi picked a strawberry that rolled down from the mountain of whipped cream, putting it slowly in his mouth and licking his fingers. Eren thought he was going to combust on the spot and quickly turned around for his own plate, blood running into his cheeks.

“Nonsense,” he heard the deep voice speaking behind his back and a shiver ran down his spine. He should really stop torturing himself like this. “It’s delicious, thank you, Eren.”

“No problem,” his voice automatically turned soft as he spoke to the black-haired lad. He just couldn’t help it!

It took only five more minutes of no longer so comfortable silence when Eren stuffed all the pancakes into his mouth as fast as it was humanly possible and announced they had to go, because they were apparently running late even though they had twenty more minutes to spare.

Levi scratched the nape of is head, shifting on his chair awkwardly. He had this special ability to make himself look really small, almost as if he was afraid to move too much, because he could get himself in trouble. “If you want me to go, you can just say so and I’ll go,” he said weakly and wrapped his arms around himself protectively.

Eren panicked, “no, no! That’s… no. I’m just so bad at – at this,” he motioned to nothing particular, letting his hands fall by his sides with a deep sigh.

Levi took a shuddery breath and rose to his feet abruptly. “I have to go, I forgot that I have to – I have to…” he choked on his words, biting his cheeks, still hugging his chest in a vain attempt to hold himself together.

“Nothing,” Eren supplied quietly and went around the table to stand right in front of the older boy. “I’m so sorry, Lee, I’m just so afraid. For you, for what else might happen to you.”

Levi averted his gaze and shrank away just a little bit more, silent. Eren rubbed his temples in exasperation, how many things is that fragile boy capable to endure? When will he understand, that enough is enough? When it’s already too late, Eren realized and another cold wave of fear ran down his spine. Balling his hands into fists and taking a few deep breaths, he turned around and left the room, leaving Levi behind. He quickly ran up the stairs, trying to calm himself in the process. He barged into his room, throwing his wardrobe door open and pulling out two warm jackets. He knew Levi didn’t bring any, considering he was kicked out of his house in his shirt only. Outside was cold and windy and Eren could feel the rain coming back any minute. Suddenly he heard a soft click of the front door from downstairs; he looked out of the window, wondering who could be returning home so early in the morning.

“Shit,” he cursed loudly, when he saw Levi trailing slowly towards the main gate. He sped down the stairs, barging out of the main door and almost tackling the other boy to the ground as he couldn’t slow down fast enough and had to gain his balance by gripping his shoulders. Levi immediately slouched and shied away, his face holding an expression of a deer caught in the headlights. And suddenly, Eren felt like he was hurting him. He didn’t want to hurt him, not any more than he already was. But his face was so pale, his eyes so empty, his legs so shaky. He couldn’t just let him go.

“Levi…”

The smaller boy gulped visibly, trying to blink away the tears that were pooling in his tired eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he said and neither him nor Eren knew what he was really apologizing for. “I’m so sorry, I’m, I’m – “

“Hey,” Eren took him by the hand, pulling him back towards the doors. “Come on, it’s cold out here.”

But Levi I didn’t budge. “I, I’ll better head home.” He whispered, trying to extricate his hand out of Eren’s grip.

Eren gritted his teeth and held on tighter, “no,” he said. “I don’t want you to go. Please, stay with me today.”

Levi looked taken aback by that proposal, soft gasp escaping his pale lips. “But, what about school?”

Eren almost laughed out loud upon hearing that ridiculous remark. “Let’s not worry about that today, okay?”

“O-okay,” was the answer that Eren got and that he expected. Levi was too used to agreeing to everything, which definitely wasn’t healthy, but turned out being useful in a situation like this one.

They returned to the warmth of Eren’s home and headed straight upstairs to the younger boy’s room. While on the stairs, Eren noticed a slight limp in Levi’s gait.

“Tell me,” Eren started as they sat back on his bed. “What hurts?”

Levi gaped with an unreadable expression in his face. He shifted uncomfortably and averted his gaze. “Nothing,” he murmured.

Eren raised his hand and lightly brushed his fingers on Levi’s jaw, making him to look back. His touch lingered a bit longer after their eyes met. He didn’t particularly mind. “Lee, what hurts?”

“My,” Levi started, and his fragile frame began to shake, “my leg. I don’t think it’s healing well.” He said so quietly Eren barely heard him. But he heard him.

He screwed his eyes shut, counting to ten, trying to rid himself of all the anger that was boiling inside of him, and when he opened them again, Levi’s face was tear streaked.

“Lee, would you mind showing it to me?”

He didn’t count on him to comply and so he started creating other convincing sentences in his head. But Levi stood up and unzipped hi pants, Eren turned his head, cheeks turning pink. The older boy slowly pulled his jeans down, hissing in pain while doing so. Eren never thought a sight like this would make him want to run to bathroom and throw up into the toilet. There was a deep cut coming from Levi’s thigh and disappearing on the front of his thigh under his boxers. Levi was definitely right, it wasn’t healing well. The scab wasn’t forming on the wound, instead it started to fester and overall it looked really irritated. Eren rose to his feet and without thinking he wrapped his arms around Levi’s smaller form. He tangled his fingers into his hair and brought him closer to his chest, his other hand sneaked itself around the older boy’s tiny waist and suddenly their bodies were flush against each other.

“How did it happen?” Eren whispered into Levi’s disheveled hair.

“K-knife,” Levi answered, voice hitching in his throat.

Eren tightened his embrace and hoped that his friend could feel the love he himself was feeling. He slowly stroked his back a few times before laying him back on the bed.

“I know you won’t like this, but we need to disinfect it, before it gets even worse. The best option would be to go to the doctor…”

Levi abruptly sat up, gripping Eren’s arm as if his life depended on it. “Not the doctor!” he choked out.

Eren’s eyes widened and he placed his hand on Levi’s, trying to unfurl his fingers. “No, no, no, not the doctor. Don’t worry, Lee, not the doctor. Only me, there’s only me, okay?”

“Only you,” Levi whispered, and it sounded like a promise.

“Only me,” Eren said and he couldn’t believe he let himself be hurt by what Levi did. “Now lay on your side, I’ll try not to hurt you, but it will sting.”

“Okay,” Levi said. Eren wanted to crush that word and the fear that stood behind it.


	6. Just don't make a mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I don't know what this fic is anymore. I was blushing the whole time while I was writing this chapter. This fic has turned me into a blushing mess. I'm the embodiment of blush now, you can use me with ur make up. (◡‿◡✿)  
> AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWEET COMMENTS IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER, THEY MADE ME SO HAPPY UwU

_“Only you,” Levi whispered, and it sounded like a promise._

_“Only me,” Eren said and he couldn’t believe he let himself be hurt by what Levi did. “Now lay on your side, I’ll try not to hurt you, but it will sting.”_

_“Okay,” Levi said. Eren wanted to crush that word and the fear that stood behind it._

_..._

He took a piece of cotton and dipped it into the disinfection bottle. Then he began to remove the pus, scabs and blood that were preventing the wound from healing. Levi’s small hands were squeezed into fists, his jaw was strained and eyes screwed shut. It almost seemed as if he was afraid of making a sound. Eren didn’t want to think about it, yet he couldn’t stop himself. He got to the point where the cut was disappearing under the cloth of Levi’s underwear. He hesitated, but then he told himself not to be a dick about it and gingerly lifted the edge of the boxers. There was a soft gasp momentarily filling the room, Levi’s heart was racing and Eren quickly took a notice of his ragged breathing.

“I’m all done here,” Eren murmured quietly and draped a blanked over the smaller boy’s form.

He then proceeded to lay beside him. Levi’s eyes were closed, but Eren knew he didn’t fall asleep. He reached out the swipe some loose strands of hair out of the boy’s face. So beautiful, he thought to himself, instantly stopping in his tracks and mentally slapping himself for thoughts like that. He couldn’t, he- he wouldn’t…

“Penny for your thought,” Levi’s eyes were now open, casting their steely glance upon Eren. And suddenly, Eren felt bare, completely on display in front of the other boy. It wasn’t usual for Levi to initiate a conversation.

I’m thinking about how beautiful you are, he wanted to say, but nothing came out of his mouth. It was almost as if he’s lost the ability to speak.

“You,” he breathed out eventually.

“Me?”

“I’m thinking about you.”

“I’m thinking about you too,” Levi lowered his gaze and a small smile graced his thin lips.

Eren’s heart might have just exploded in that very moment, that’s how full of love it was.

“I’m sorry,” Eren shifted closer so their faces were mere inches apart.

“Sorry?” Levi asked, confused.

“I’m sorry for not noticing sooner.”

A single tear escaped Levi’s eye, getting soaked up by the pillow right away. “Could, could you hold me for a moment?”

“I could hold you forever.” He didn’t mean to say that, but he didn’t regret saying it either.

Eren began to sit up so he could climb over Levi to make himself the big spoon.

“No,” a small voice rang across the room, a hand pulling Eren back to his place. “Like this,” Levi mumbled, pressing himself as close as possible to Eren’s chest and tangling their legs.

“Okay,” Eren answered and he was more than happy to comply. He rested his chin on Levi’s head and used his free hand to gingerly stroke his back. He could feel every vertebra, every rib, and it scared the living shit out of him. Levi’s breathing became somewhat stable and Eren figured that he’s asleep. 

It was only morning, but Eren knew Levi needed this extra rest, he doubted he was getting that at home. He studied the older boy’s features, trying to remember every crease, every edge, every inch of his skin. He was perfect. Sharp jawline, straight nose and thin lips. And his eyes, Eren bit his lip while thinking about those eyes, how the effortless curiosity they used to hold turned into an empty stare. Now, they held pain, only pain and suffering. Still, they vere beautiful, endless gray clouds with blue sky peeking out occasionally. Why didn’t he notice sooner? And what would happen if Jean hadn’t had noticed? He still didn’t know what to do about it though. Should he alert the police? Should he just barge into that house and beat the shit out of the person who did this to him?

Just when his eyes too began to close again on this early morning, there was a quiet sob echoing through the silence of the room. Eren’s eyes immediately snapped open, casting their stare on Levi’s form. He wanted to ask what’s wrong, but then he noticed the boy was still asleep.

“Please, don’t,” he choked up brokenly, gripping Eren’s shirt in his fists. “I’ll, I’ll be good, I promise, I promise…,” his voice gained on intensity and Eren firmly gripped his shoulder, shaking him awake. “I’ll be good,” Levi cried out once again, ragged sobs escaping his lips, tears wetting his cheeks.

“You are good,” was everything Eren mustered to say. “You are so good, Lee,” he whispered wiping the boy’s tear-stricken face.

Levi looked somewhere behind him, mouthing those words over and over again. It seemed almost mechanic. Eren noticed the hysteria in his rising voice, Levi was having a panic attack. There was so much trauma caused to this beautiful human, but now was not the time to think about that. He cupped his cheeks and tried to get his attention.

“Levi, love, look at me,” he started, “you’re safe here. Noone’s gonna hurt you, this is a safe place.” Levi blinked, shifting his gaze to Eren’s face, but he said nothing. “If you feel lost, this is the place where you’ll find yourself again, if you feel scared, this is the place where you’ll be safe again, if you are hurt, this is the place where you can heal, and finally, if you feel hated, this is the place where you are loved.”

Levi’s uneven breaths began to slow down, he gulped, loosening his grip on Eren’s t-shirt.

“Loved,” he repeated, and a wave of pain rolled over Eren’s heart.

“Yes, loved,” he said smiling softly, playing with the boy’s soft black hair. “I’ll give as much love as I can, because you deserve it all.”

Levi’s eyes widened in shock and his mouth opened the slightest bit. He then sniffled and bowed his head in shame. “I deserve nothing, he whispered. I broke your trust.”

Eren sighed, “did you mean for it to happen?”

“No!”

“Then,” he caressed the older boy’s cheek gently, “you’re forgiven.”

“Eren…” he said and Eren couldn’t help but like the way his name rolled over Levi’s lips.

“What about your nightmare, can you tell me what happened?” Eren already knew the answer to that question, but he had to try anyway.

“Maybe one day,” Levi muttered in a hushed voice, “maybe one day I’ll tell you. Right now, I’m not even able to tell it to myself.

Suddenly, silence fell upon them, only their synced breathing could be heard. Eren traced his fingers across Levi’s back and neck, trying really hard to ignore the fact that he was still almost naked under the sheets. He moved his cold fingers onto the smaller boy’s earlobe, and he felt him shiver under the touch. A smirk made its way on Eren’s mouth and Levi hasn’t failed to immediately notice that.

“Stop.” He uttered dryly with his distinguish low voice, blush spreading over his cheeks like hellfire.

“Stop touching?” Eren questioned quickly.

“No,” Levi sighed, “smirking. It makes me feel bad about being touched.”

“If you feel bad about being touched then I should just stop tou – “

“No, no, you don’t get it,” Levi whimpered, panic in his voice almost palpable. “Don’t, please, I, I need to be touched. Differently, then he, then, he, he…”

Eren was lost for words, he didn’t expect a reaction like this. Levi was obviously emotionally unstable, and he needed help, how was he supposed to let him go back to whatever hell was awaiting him at home? His best friend wasn’t the person he used to be, on the contrary, he was as far from that as humanly possible. Not only his body was littered with wounds, but his soul was too. Eren wanted to kiss the pain away, but he knew he couldn’t. There were too many things that weren’t making it easy or right for him to do so. Levi had to be fixed in order to be able to love and be loved. Eren pressed the small scrawny body closer to him, smelling the coconut shampoo in Levi’s hair. He still used the same one. At least this hasn’t changed.

“Sometimes I get so lonely,” Levi whispered. “I crave human touch so badly, but at the same time I’m so afraid of it. I’m afraid of people.”

“Are you afraid of me?” It was the last thing Eren wanted to ask, but he had to. He had to know if everything Levy feels when being touched by him is fear.

“N - no.” He stuttered, jagged breath coming through his pursed lips.

“That’s good, I’m going to continue then.”

“Eren…”

“Yeah?”

“Just… don’t make a mistake.”


	7. I did well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS, this chapter is LOOONG omg!! But beware, nasty things are about to happen! Sad things are about to happen, I almost made MYSELF cry. Please leave kudos and comments, because who would wanna continue writing without some much needed support?! ~(˘▾˘~)  
> Levi is one whump of a hunk! Or one hunk of a whump? Idk, my jokes are getting worse and worse. ANYWAY. Enjoy! :33

The next day Levi didn’t come to school and the day after that too. To say that Eren was worried would be an understatement. Eren was worried sick. Literally.

“Man, what is up with you? Have you eaten anything bad?” Connie pushed himself between Eren and Jean to get into his locker. He opened it, stuffed his backpack with some crumpled paper that was surely homework and closed it with a loud bang. “You seem pale… also, you’re spacing out a lot. Have you been sleeping well?”

Eren huffed indignantly, “I’m fine, Connie, don’t worry about it.” He took off his jumper and tossed it into the back of his locker. Then he took off without another word and even after disappearing behind the corner, he could hear their voices. Loud and clear.

“What has gotten into him lately? He’s been acting strange.” Connie sounded confused, almost worried.

“Ackerman did,” Jean answered, sarcasm radiating from his voice. Connie quickly caught up on the pun and both of them started laughing hysterically. Eren didn’t find it amusing one bit, on the other hand, he felt kind of hurt by those two simple words that Jean let out of his filthy mouth. But in that very moment he didn’t have the time to think about that, he needed to find out if Levi was alright. He sped towards his car that was parked behind the school building because there was no place left in front of it in the morning. He started the engine, rush of adrenalin filling his whole body. What if something happened to Levi, what if they did something to him? He slept over, he came late the next day… this couldn’t have ended up well. Eren tried to loosen up the grip on the steering wheel, but it was to no avail, his knuckles were still white, almost as if his circulation just didn’t want those joints to work anymore. On his way to Levi’s house, Eren exceeded all the speed limits and ignored a few red lights. He should’ve done this yesterday. And even that would've been late. He parked in front of Levi’s house, it’s been so long since he was there for the last time. They used to play footie in the backyard and build paper airplanes in the attic. No time for nostalgy, Eren scolded himself mentally and started towards the main entrance.

He knocked twice, but there was no response. Just as he was about to go check the windows, the doors flew open. There stood a tall brawny man with blond hair, judgmental stare and a beer in his hand.

“What,” he said without moving a muscle.

Eren gaped at him, moving his lips on empty for a few seconds. “I -, I came to see Levi.”

The man’s eyes turned into two thin lines and he squeezed the door handle so hard that his knuckles turned white. “So, you’re the boyfriend?” He grumbled resentfully and took a sip of his beer.

“Boyfriend?!” Eren almost choked on that word, eyes wide, hand splayed on his chest in shock. “No, I just came to see if – “

“He’s not home,” the blonde didn’t even let him finish and slammed the door in front of his face.

That’s a fucking lie, was the first thing that came to Eren’s mind. He noticed a silhouette moving behind the blinds in the left window next to the entrance. The man was watching him. And so he acted as convincingly as possible, deciding to return into his car. He turned the key in ignition and with fear rising int the pit of his stomach, he drove away. Or to be more specific, a block away. He killed the engine and walked back towards the house as fast as his wobbly legs carried him. He knew where Levi’s room was, he remembered as if it was just yesterday that he last visited. The problem was it was the second floor. He climbed over the fence and jumped into Ackerman’s backyard. His heart was beating in his throat, but he was sure that something was wrong here. Something was really wrong. He found some betel climbing up the side wall of the house and tried if it was strong enough to hold his weight. He felt stupid, this wasn’t some superhero movie, he didn’t have a superhero complex he would have to indulge. Yet the situation was so real that he didn’t have a single second thought when he hooked his fingers on the tendrils closest to him and pulled himself up. Nothing happened, not a single noise could be heard. Eren smiled, determined to reach the windowsill he saw peaking from the wall above his head. He made another step up and his leg almost slipped. Just, don’t look down, he told himself as he was continuing his ascent. Finally, his hands reached the cold metal plate and he pulled himself up with all the strength that was left in his arms. The room was dim, but Eren could still make out the silhouette laying curled up on the bed. He hesitated before knocking, his heartbeat speeding up to unnatural levels. No response. The next knock on the glass was more urgent, yet still silent enough for noone else to hear. The person lying on the bed moved, slowly limping towards him. The window opened the slightest bit and their eyes met. Eren’s wide in shock, Levi’s bloodshot and full of tears. He pushed the window wide open and jumped into the room. Levi stumbled backwards and would have fell if Eren wasn’t quick enough to catch him in his arms.

“Eren,” the smaller boy breathed and there was unexplainable agony embedded into his voice. “You can’t be here.”

Eren put his other arm under Levi’s knees and lifted him up. It was surprisingly easy to do so. There was something wet streaming down his thighs, but Eren didn’t have time to pay attention to it because he noticed the state Levi’s bed was in. His eyes got already used to the darkness of the room and he saw blood and…

“Levi, love, tell me, what happened here?” He had the feeling that he already knew, but he just had to be proven wrong.

Levi whimpered in his arms, “you shouldn’t be here,” he repeated. “You, you shouldn’t see me like this.”

“Yes,” Eren retorted, “because you shouldn’t look like this. Oh my god, oh my god, Levi, don’t tell me that…” He quickly approached the bed and gingerly laid the boy down. Then he finally noticed two things, an that was that Levi’s boxers were backwards and that the wet sticky liquid on his thighs was blood mixed with cum. He blinked away the tears that were threatening to overflow his eyes and placed a gentle hand on his best friend’s cheek. “I should be calling the police,” he mused out loud and suddenly, a deathly grip appeared on his arm.

“Not the police,” Levi cried, “not the police, Eren. He will, he will hurt mom. Please, please don’t.” There was a rising panic in his voice and Eren didn’t want the man downstairs to hear them.

“Shh, shh, not the police,” he repeated urgently. “Just… breath for me, baby, okay? Breath for me” He didn’t mind the pet names, he didn’t care about anything but getting Levi out of that damn house. Levi started taking shaky breaths, following Eren’s example. “That’s it, good boy, now continue like this, okay?” He coaxed and turned on the small lamp on the nightstand. The room was a mess, he noticed some bloodstained cloths scattered randomly across the floor. Then his stare fell upon a fairly large baton and his stomach did a flip. “Is there a key to your room somewhere?”

Levi shook his head tiredly, motioning somewhere towards the door. “N- no,” he stuttered, “c-can’t use it. Can’t be, be, can’t be alone.”

Eren sighed, “listen Lee, we have to get you out of here, okay?”

Levi shook his head again, “no, no, no,” he whimpered, more tears rolling down his cheeks, “I can’t, I can’t.”

Eren was about to start convincing him when a deep, menacing voice was heard from the first floor.

“Hey, slut, I’m going out, don’t you dare opening to anyone or step out of this house.”

Levi stiffened, his whole body going rigid. Eren quickly grabbed his hand, massaging it gently with his fingers. “Act normally,” he whispered, attempting to smile encouragingly.

“Yes, sir!” Levi answered loudly, his voice rising a few pitches high.

This wasn’t the Levi Eren knew, this was a boy who has been broken and for whom there was a little chance of being mend again. And there and then, Eren pledged himself to be the one who will try to fix that. He turned around, picking up the baton, folding it and shoving it under his belt. There’s no need to leave that here for some further use. He then bent down, lifting the boy up again. Levi flinched in pain, faintly wrapping his weak arms around Eren’s neck.

“This is our chance,” Eren whispered into his ear. “We’re leaving this place.”

Levi heaved a deep breath, trying to stop himself from crying out when Eren began to walk in a steady pace. “But, but, when I’m back – “

“You won’t be coming back,” Eren cut him off resolutely. “Not on my watch.” Levi didn’t respond, instead he focused on not making any loud noises from the pain that shot from his ass to his lower back. “I parked a block away, I didn’t want seem suspicious. Don’t worry, we’re almost there.”

.

Eren prayed his mother wasn’t back from work. Actually, he didn’t even think about how he would explain… that. A huge weight lifted from his heart once he saw that all of the lights in the house were turned off.

“Come on, big guy,” he whispered, taking the older boy in his arms. Levi was wrapped up only in a thin blanket Eren found in the back of his car and now he was shivering furiously. Eren closed the car door with his side, not bothering to lock it, and he headed to the front door and straight to the bathroom.

He laid Levi down into the bath, kneeling right next to it. Levi’s head dropped to the side from all the pain he was experiencing, and he clenched his jaw in a futile attempt to suppress it.

“No, don’t go sleep on me now, love,” Eren spoke up while looking for some organic shower gel and disinfection. “Levi, Levi, look at me!” The black-haired boy slowly opened his tired eyes and Eren reached out to lift his chin. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” Levi answered weakly.

“Do you trust me with yourself?” Eren asked again, he had to be sure.

Levi blinked and a small frown creased his forehead. “Yes,” he answered again.

“Okay,” Eren smiled kindly, “that’s good.” He hooked his fingers under Levi’s underwear and slowly started pulling it off.

Levi winced at that, legs going stiff and fingers curling in pain. He turned his head to the side, cheeks burning red. Eren understood how uncomfortable this situation was for him, but there was no other choice if he chose not to go to the hospital. Eren finally got the piece of stained fabric off of his legs and he got to see more blood… and more cuts.

“Oh my god, Levi, baby,” he grabbed the boy’s hand brought it to his lips, kissing his knuckles one after another. “I’m gonna have to –, can I look?”

Levi didn’t answer, just nodded once, completely humiliated. Eren gently lifted his penis that was covered with small cuts all over its length and moved his balls out of the way to see the disaster that has been made at the bottom. Levi’s hole was ruptured in several places and there was blood and semen leaking out of it. Eren wanted to throw up, but instead he decided to pick up the shower head and start with some throughout cleaning. He began with the legs, those thin legs that were littered with bruises and barely able to walk. He gingerly scrubbed the dirt off, nervous feeling in his insides growing the more up he got. He made his way to Levi’s upper thigh when the boy’s breathing became uneven and ragged. He grabbed the edges of the bath, making small high-pitched noises of fear and discomfort.

Eren sighed, taking Levi’s hand in his once again. “Lee,” he said and tapped his wrist a few times to get his attention. “It’s only me. I could never ever hurt you.”

“But I, I’m so –,” Levi stuttered, tears flowing freely down his face.

“You are beautiful.” Eren completed his sentence resolutely and Levi’s breath got momentarily stuck in his throat. He then struggled to catch it again, coughing and spluttering. “Now, you know what I said about breathing,” Eren scolded lightly. “Come with me, in and out, that’s it. You’re gonna have a good bath and then you’ll get some sleep, okay?” He wiped the tears from Levi’s cheeks and made an attempt of an encouraging smile. “Now, Lee, do you trust me with yourself?”

Levi gulped, still clutching the edges of the bath, but breathing somewhat steadily. “Yes,” he whispered, averting his gaze.

“Okay, I’m gonna touch you now. If it’s too painful, just tell me.” He moved down with his hands and opened Levi’s legs with no resistance whatsoever. He grabbed the shower head, trying the water temperature first, and pointed it at the smaller boy’s ass. There was a loud wail followed with a single sob, Levi tried to be a good boy, holding himself back as long as he could. The reason behind this behavior was probably graver than anyone could ever imagine. Eren mixed some disinfection with the shower gel and gently applied it on Levi’s hole, massaging it and cleaning it from all the dirt. He worked quickly and effectively so his friend didn’t have to suffer any longer than necessary. After he was done, he moved onto the stomach that was covered with dried cum and several wounds. Levi’s rigid position loosened up a bit.

“You did well,” Eren praised, caressing his cheek.

“I did well,” Levi repeated quietly and there was a small tired smile playing on his lips. Eren found it incredibly sad.


	8. Don't leave me now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS. AO3 was down for a while and I seriously panicked so hard when I saw that blank page pop up. I was like NAH BITH I NEED TO UPLOAD TODAY. And so here I am a few hours later with a new chapter! Welcome to Fluffyland everyone, leave kudos and comments and enjoy the ride!! (─‿‿─)

After they were done in the bathroom, Eren carried Levi to his room, laying him gently on his bed and changing the wet towel for a warm blanket. Levi sighed, eyes half opened, head lolling. Eren sat on the edge of the bed, bringing the blanket higher up to Levi’s chin. The sky outside grew darker and soon it began to drizzle. He reached out his hand and started lightly stroking the smaller boy’s hair. Levi leaned to the touch, screwing his eyes shut, probably trying really hard to imagine the exact situation happening under different circumstances.

“You are so brave,” Eren whispered, “so brave. I’m so proud of you.”

Levi’s eyes slightly opened, steely grey flashing from under the eyelids. “I wish you didn’t have to see this,” he croaked, voice filled with emotion.

“No,” Eren murmured, “I wish _you_ didn’t have to see this.” He continued stroking the boy’s raven silky hair, massaging his scalp and whispering sweet nothings. “There is one more thing I have to do,” he said with a deep sigh, picking up the small tube with ointment Levi already knew so well. “Please, turn on your side, it won’t take long.” Levi’s eyes automatically brimmed with tears, but he managed to turn around, burning his head into the pillow, before they overflowed. Eren lifted the blanked only enough to sneak his hand under it. “It’s cold,” he warned and then he started rubbing the ointment on Levi’s injured hole. He felt it retract under his touch, he could hear small muffled sobs escaping from under the pillow. He quickly drew his hand back, wiping his finger off on a tissue. “Hey, Lee,” he whispered, placing his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Nothing. “Should I leave? I should probably leave.” He picked up some stuff, deciding to make himself comfortable on the couch downstairs for the night.

“No,” the voice was small, almost inaudible. Eren turned around, Levi still haven’t really moved, only his hand was faintly lifted in the air, beckoning Eren to come closer. “I don’t, I don’t want to be alone.” He muttered, embarrassed.

Eren was by his side within a second, kneeling down onto the bed and bending above him. Levi smiled, but it looked more like a painful grimace. Eren bit his lip in an attempt to stop himself from crying and failing miserably.

“Your eyes are so green,” Levi murmured throatily, his voice hoarse from crying. “I love green.”

I love you, Eren thought, caressing Levi’s cheeks and tracing the salty trails tears left on his skin. He had his right hand propped right above the older boy’s shoulder, their faces so close yet so far. The rain created a pleasant background noise, raindrops hitting the window glass in a steady rhythm. Suddenly there was a noise of doors closing downstairs. Levi stiffened up, mouth open, eyes filling with panic and his body shaking like a leaf.

“Shh, shh,” Eren started calming him down, running his hands up and down Levi’s arms. “It’s just my mom, calm down love. Nothing can hurt you here, I promised you that. Breath, breath, there we go.” Levi tuned his head to the side, rosy tint spreading across his face and neck. Eren retracted his hands immediately, thinking he did something wrong. “Levi, are you alright?”

Levi smiled the tiniest bit and casted his stare somewhere behind Eren. “You’ve been using these names,” he breathed out nervously. “Do you, did you…”

“Did I mean it?” Eren finished almost impatiently.

Levi just nodded, expectation flashing in his expression.

“Depends,” Eren continued, playing with a loose strand of Levi’s hair. “Would you like it to be like that?”

Levi let out a displeased whine, which surprised the younger boy and his right hand actually almost gave up on him. “Want you to say it first,” Levi muttered.

“Okay then,” Eren smiled, “I meant every single one.”

“Okay,” Levi whispered contently, “that’s… okay.”

Eren watched him intently, every quiver of his lips, every tremor in his weakened body, his ragged breathing and the sweat pooling in the nooks of his clavicles. “You’re in pain,” he noted, and he instantly felt stupid for saying such an obvious thing.

Levi shrugged, “I don’t even know anymore.”

“Let me get you some pain killers,” the brown-haired boy suggested, standing up and heading towards the door.

“Eren,” the feeble voice followed him like a ghost.

Eren turned around questioningly and their eyes met for a split second. “Don’t worry love, I’m not leaving you.”

When he got back with a bottle of pills and a glass of water, Levi was fast asleep. What a crazy day, Eren thought and headed downstairs to greet his mom, pretending nothing has happened.

.

It was four in the morning and the sun was still hiding far behind the horizon. Eren sat in the kitchen with a glass of milk in his hand. He couldn’t sleep, because every time he closed his eyes there was this picture of Levi… the picture that he saw when he opened that damn window and jumped into the room. Blood, sweat, cum and deadly smell. Eren let his head fall free straight onto the table top and growled angrily, squeezing the glass so hard it almost broke. He didn’t tell his mom even though he thought he should. He didn’t want to betray Levi, he didn’t want to break that fragile trust the older boy has put into him. Eren knew Levi wasn’t ready to speak about it yet, but he needed to now at least something, at least something to help him try and make the situation somewhat better.

“I’m such a dick,” Eren whispered into the quiet kitchen, thinking back to the day when Jean mentioned Levi’s odd behavior and the green-eyed boy just let it slide like it was nothing.

He noticed the sunrays peaking from behind the rooftops and realized he’s been sitting there for far too long. He got up and put the glass into the sink, trying to shut his racing thoughts for a moment. It was almost five and his mom was soon to be waking up to work. Eren quickly ran up the stairs and went straight to his room to check on Levi. He closed the door and walked up to the bed, looking at the other boy’s peaceful expression.

“You said you weren’t leaving me,” a groggy voice startled Eren and he stopped in his tracks, feeling stricken with that piercing gaze of steel.

He made the final step, kneeling beside the bed and reaching out his hand to touch Levi’s cheek. “I didn’t leave, silly, I was checking up on you every hour or so.”

Levi’s mouth open the slightest bit and he took a deep breath, wincing in pain. God, even breathing is hard for him to do, Eren thought brokenly.

“You, you didn’t sleep?” Levi inquired and he sounded so sad.

“I don’t need to sleep,” Eren joked, “I’m a superhero.”

Levi raised his hand and placed in on Eren’s one still resting on his cheek. “That you truly are,” he agreed, intertwining their fingers. “I’m so sorry Eren I – “

“Lee,” Eren interrupted exasperatedly, “don’t you dare be sorry. There is only one person who should be sorry and we both very well know who that is.”

Levi shivered noticeably and Eren didn’t know if it was his harsh tone or the notion of the man that caused it. Either way, the boy’s body reacted on its own and he curled into a small ball, bare back facing Eren.

“I could as well grab the ointment again while I have the chance,” Eren muttered.

“You’re the worst,” Levi retorted covering himself up abruptly.

Eren cracked his neck in an attempt to relieve the tension in his spine from all the uncomfortable positions he found himself that night. He laid on the bed next to the other boy’s coiled form. His hand made its way over the duvet and he brought Levi close to him. “Are you mad at me?” He inquired, craning his head to see the profile of Levi’s face. Levi wriggled under the duvet, gingerly turning around and hissing in pain while doing so. He looked up to meet Eren’s eyes and bit his lip, which Eren found completely sensual and adorable at the same time. The door downstairs closed with a quiet click and the sound of heels clapping on the pavement grew quieter and quieter until they disappeared completely. They were alone in that house yet again and Eren almost failed to remember how it felt without Levi being there. It almost felt as if those three years never happened.

“I could never be mad at you,” Levi answered, bringing the duvet closer to his body.

“You’re afraid,” Eren said and it wasn’t a question, merely an observation.

Levi stayed silent and the look in his eyes was empty. Eren noticed a tremor in his left arm, how it started twitching restlessly when an uncomfortable topic was brought up. Levi wasn’t just afraid, he was traumatized to the bone and there wasn’t much Eren could do about it. He gently placed his palm on the older boy’s shoulder and felt him shiver under the touch. He then started to gently stroke his arm, trying to relieve some stress. Levi didn’t object to that, he simply closed his eyes and rested his head on Eren’s bicep. Eren mustered all of the strength that was left in him and resolutely pressed his lips on Levi’s temple. The smaller boy’s breath sped up instantly, but when Eren laid back again, returning to his previous position, it evened out.

“You thought I was going to do something,” Eren murmured and he couldn’t help but feeling a little bit hurt.

Levi frowned desperately, “I’m so sorry, I just, I can’t help it I – “

“Shh, I understand, of course I understand,” Eren soothed, hugging the boy close and bringing their foreheads together. They were so close that their breaths were now mingling with each other, one steady and calm, the other one once again ragged and nervous. “I know I’ve already said this, but I guess I might have to repeat it again. And I don’t mind, I will repeat it over and over and over again until you understand, until it carves itself into your brain, so you won’t be able to forget it. Never.” Eren spoke in a joking manner, but everything he said was hundred percent true. “I will never hurt you, I will never touch you in a way you don’t want to be touched, I will never lie to you, I will never leave you out of my sight, because if I ever see you like, like that...” he trailed off and his voice became shaky. “I think I wouldn’t be able to handle that.”

Tears were streaming freely down Levi’s face and landing on the pillow, but there was a huge smile present on his face and Eren thought he’s never seen anything so angelic, so transcendent and pure. It was then and there that Eren truly fell in love, he felt it in every fiber of his body, he felt it flowing in his veins and ringing in his ears. He never knew a feeling like this could exist, but now that he experienced it, he never wanted it to stop.


	9. A man on the run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woaahhh, something is about to go down in this chappy! I spent the whole yesterday evening writing it and even though there's not much fluff in it, it will determine the continuation of this story. So huddle up, make some tea and read some titan romance! :33

“Do you want milk in your coffee?” the greened eyed boy asked as he poured himself a full mug of plain black coffee with a huge amount of sugar.

They were seated in the living room, Levi dressed in a warm onesie and huddled up in fluffy blankets, Eren being Eren and wearing only shorts and a batman t shirt.

“No, and I don’t use sugar either.” Levi answered, picking up the remote controller and flicking through the tv channels.

“Okay, tough guy,” Eren joked and picked another mug out of the cupboard. There was a snowman on it and Eren thought it was extremely ironic, since it was almost December and so fair all they’ve seen was rain. He returned to the living room and sat next to the ball of blankets that was Levi, handing him his drink.

“Thank you,” Levi mumbled and carefully took the mug from Eren’s hands.

“So,” the younger boy started, fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously, “I was thinking about this… situation a lot and know that you don’t want to hear this, but I truly think that we shouldn’t be dealing with this on our own and that we should call the po – “

“Eren, Eren, honey, are you home?!” there was a loud hysterical voice echoing throughout the hallway and suddenly the doors to the living room were flying open and Eren’s mother stumbled inside. Her face was red and her eyes held a sheer panic look in them. “Oh my god, you’re here,” she whimpered, rushing towards the boy and hugging him as tight as it was humanly possible.

“Mom, MOM!” Eren shook the woman when she didn’t respond in an instant. “What the hell happened?!”

“You have to lock the doors and close the windows, the Bodt’s boy, he… he’s –,” she trailed off, clutching her chest and rocking from side to side.

“Mom, what is it?” Eren pressed, getting quite nervous and aggravated despite seeing his mother in such pitiful state.

“He’s dead,” she whispered.

There was a thud followed with ceramics breaking and both Eren and his mother turned their gazes to look at Levi who wasn’t so calm anymore. The coffee he’s held in his hands was now spilled all over the blankets and the mug was left laying on the ground broken into several pieces. The black-haired boy was hyperventilating, eyes wide, hands shaking.

“Levi, what are you –,” Eren’s mother started, getting her posture together and reaching out to touch the boy.

“Mom,” Eren was quick to intervene, “go close the windows upstairs, I’ve got this.”

“But…”

“Mom,” Eren raised his voice and he sounded almost menacingly, “I said close the windows!”

The woman just nodded and disappeared in the hallway. There was only one thing Eren cared about in that very moment and that was the boy in front of him. He carefully removed the stained blankets and fully revealed the shaking mess Levi has become in such a short moment. He carefully put his hands under Levi’s arms and gingerly sat him on his lap, so the boy was now straddling him.

“Lee, look at me,” he whispered, tapping his finger on the smaller boy’s chin. “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. You’re save, I’m right here.” Levi didn’t react and so Eren cradled him in his arms, reaching out to grab another blanket from the armchair and draping it over Levi’s small form. He slowly bounced his legs, trying to make the blood flow back to Levi’s limbs and face, since they seemed to be void of any color. “Nothing’s gonna happen to you, love, I’m not letting you out of my sight. Breathe for me, okay, breathe, baby.” He cupped Levi’s face and he started taking deep breaths. Levi distractedly began repeating Eren’s actions, he seemed to have a bit of a problem with it in the beginning, but eventually their breathing synced and Levi was able to calm down. “You’re doing so good,” Eren praised, making small circles with his thumbs on Levi’s cheeks.

“No,” Levi choked out, throwing his arms around Eren’s neck and pressing himself as close to him as possible. “You are,” he mumbled into the younger boy’s shoulder and tightened his grip on Eren’s shirt. “I… Eren, I think it’s him. I think he’s mad, he’s, he,” Levi stuttered, hiccupping. “He’s gonna come for me now, he’s gonna kill me.”

“We don’t know if it’s him, love,” Eren whispered and run his hands over Levi’s back. But deep inside he hoped it was him and as heartless as it sounded, he was immensely grateful that the victim was someone else but Levi. “Now, you should move aside, otherwise we’ll have some explanation to do.”

“But what if I don’t want to,” Levi mumbled, still hiding his face in the nook of Eren’s neck, wetting his shirt with unshed tears.

Eren hummed, “that’s hard to tell, maybe I should just tickle you until you forget you ever wanted to stay.” To his absolute surprise, Levi giggled, he actually giggled. Eren felt it resonate on his skin and a shiver ran down his spine. He gently pried the boy off him and sat him back on the couch. He then kneeled down and started picking up the shards of ceramics laying on the ground.

“Wait,” Levi abruptly scrambled on his feet, wanting to help the younger boy, but instead crying out in pain when kneeling down. Eren dropped everything back on the ground catching the boy in his arms.

“Don’t strain yourself, you fool,” he scolded. “Here, lay down and try not to break a bone.” He said it in a joking manner, but immediately noticed the saddened expression on Levi’s face. He quickly picked the broken pieces and went to the kitchen to throw them in the trash. Before he managed to get back into the living room, his mother returned from upstairs. He entered the room and the first thing he noticed was Levi’s frightened look, their eyes met and it was almost as if the older boy was begging for help. Eren quickened his pace, crossing the distance and sitting next to Levi, who managed to scoot as far from the woman as possible. “So, mom,” he began, “what the hell is going on here?”

The black-haired woman with eyes of the same color as Eren’s crossed her legs at ankles and took a deep breath. “I was on my way to work, when I passed the Bodt’s house. It was swarming with cops, so I slowed down to ask the officer what’s going on, because as you know, Clare and I are quite good friends. He didn’t want to tell me what’s going on, saying it’s confidential, but then, then…” Eren’s mother hid her face in her palms, letting out a sob, “then Clare was running towards me. She had this crazy look on her face, screaming _my boy is dead, my boy has been murdered_. They, they took her away before I could even grasp the situation. The officer then told me that the man is still on the run and that I should better lock myself at home. It should be on the news by now, they should, they should warn the whole city.”

While she was talking, Eren sneaked his hand under the blanket, taking Levi’s smaller one in his and engulfing it whole. He tightened his grip when he felt the boy shaking in horror.

“That’s horrible, how could they let him escape just like that?” Eren mused, aggravation present in his voice.

“The neighbors saw him running away, so they have an idea of how he looked. They’ll catch him soon, but this is about the fact that what’s been done cannot be undone!” Eren’s mother said and then shifted her gaze to Levi. “And I still don’t know what your friend is doing here,” she quizzed curiously, swiping her hair behind her ear.

“We buried a hatchet,” Eren stated simply, still holding Levi’s hand inconspicuously. “Lee came over just minutes after you left, we were planning on having a movie day.”

“Oh,” his mother said, smile appearing on her worn-out face. “I’m so glad, it’s been so long since I saw you for the last time.”

Levi mustered a convincing enough smile and nodded. In that very moment, Eren felt so proud, so proud of him for trying to overcome his fears, for standing up and fighting instead of shutting down and running away. He turned Levi’s hand around in his and drew a heart into his palm with his thumb. He doubted Levi would notice anyway.

“Alright boys, I’m going to have to work from home today, which isn’t really useful, since I left most of my paperwork in the office.” She sighed and toed off her shoes. “Anyway, if you happen to need me, I’ll be in my room.”

“Okay,” Eren smiled, “thanks mom,” he added and waved her off.


	10. I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I -, I dunno what to say. I turned into a mush. My fingers don't type anymore, they melted away.  
> Anyway, enjoy this new chappy and don't forget to comment and give kudos! :3 I don't have anything pre written now, so it may take me some time to update. :)

The TV was still turned on with the volume down, making a pleasant background noise into the silence that suddenly filled the room. Levi was absentmindedly flicking through the channels, grim look on his face. His finger stiffened on the remote controller when the news station came on. He blinked a few a times and a quiet “oh” escaped his pale lips. Eren followed his gaze, _oh_ indeed, he thought when he spotted a face of the blonde man he saw yesterday at the door of Levi’s house. **_Wanted_** was written under the photo in big bold letters and the words _armed_ and _dangerous_ stood right under it. Reiner Braun, so that was his name, Eren thought, gritting his teeth in pent up anger. He reached out, snatching the remote controller from the older boy’s hand and throwing in onto the armchair where it landed with a silent thud.

“Eren?”

The younger boy just hummed in response, still submerged deep in his thoughts. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and sighed. Life was getting somewhat harder.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Levi mumbled, scooting closer. “If you didn’t come yesterday, I would probably be dead by now.”

Eren threw his hand over Levi’s shoulders, bringing him close. “Don’t say that, the mere thought is scaring me.”

Levi smiled, “I don’t deserve you.”

The younger boy gently stroked his hair, enjoying the sweet scent of coconut. “I know,” he answered after a moment, “you deserve so much more.”

.

A week passed by and nothing happened. Levi was temporarily staying with the Jaeger’s since Eren told his mother that the older boy’s parents left on a business trip and he didn’t feel like being home alone with all the stuff going on in the city. Carla was very understanding and kind towards Levi, leaving him cookies on the nightstand in the guest room where he only pretended to sleep since he was scared shitless and decided to sleep in Eren’s room instead, which the younger boy didn’t mind in the slightest. They were allowed to stay inside because Eren’s mother was probably even more frightened than her son and so she was inclined to let them slack off. Posters of Reiner Braun appeared all over the city and police patrols were passing their house regularly every day. There was a tension of unspoken words laying between the two boys and neither of them wanted to start the conversation that was needed to resolve this all.

“How are you healing?” Eren asked carefully one evening when they were lazing around in the younger boy’s room, watching anime on the computer and eating loads of unhealthy food.

Levi glanced at him from where he was propped against the headboard of the bed. “It’s alright, I guess.”

Eren raised his eyebrows, “care to elaborate?”

“Do you think I want to talk to you about my damn ass?” Levi snapped suddenly, gripping the duvet and covering himself abruptly.

Eren lowered his head onto the mattress, biting his cheek. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes and was about to let his mind wander, he didn’t care to fight with Levi, not when he was like this. He could hear shuffling behind him and then a warm weight of a body laid down on him.

“The first few days,” Levi muttered, “I thought I was going to die every time I went to the toilet, it hurt so much I actually considered throwing up my food instead. That’s why I haven’t been eating that much, it’s not that I don’t like your mom’s food, but…”

“Lee,” Eren breathed, wrapping his hands around his friend’s tiny waist.

“But it’s better now!” Levi tried to sound as enthusiastic as the situation allowed. “I’ve been using that ointment you gave me and it works just alright.”

“You’re my little warrior,” Eren murmured into his smooth black hair and ran his fingers all over Levi’s back. “So brave.”

“M’ not little,” Levi protested weakly, pressing himself closer to the younger boy and closing his eyes in bliss that was the mutual touch he’s longed for so long.

Eren slowly began rocking from side to side, reveling in the feeling of being so close to the one he loved the most. He no longer tried to deny it, he let it fill him from head to toes and flow freely through his body. It was something he never knew he would be able to experience. It was so fulfilling that he was sure he would be able to live from it for the rest of his life. Eat, drink and breath love, only love.

“Okay,” Eren chuckled, “you are really tall, almost as tall as me.”

Levi wriggled in Eren’s arms, trying to find a more comfortable position. “Very funny,” he muttered.

There was this one thing that bothered Eren from the day Reiner Braun closed the door in front of his face and went to the window to spy on him in secret. _So, you’re the boyfriend_ , he said back then, and it sounded so resentful, almost as if it was a dirty word. What did he mean by that? Those words scared him, but at the same time they gave him hope. They gave him hope that Levi was like him, that Levi could like him.

Sudden silence engulfed them for a minute or so before Eren spoke again. “I know you don’t want to hear this,” he grumbled and loosened up his grip, folding his arms behind his head and looking at the older boy laying on top of him. “But when I went to get you last week, I actually didn’t go straight for the window… I knocked first.”

“Oh my god,” Levi breathed, “do you know what he could have done to you?”

“He didn’t though, did he. But he said something that’s been bugging me for all this time.” He silenced himself, looking at the fogged-up window and thinking about the way he should word his sentence. “He asked me if I was the boyfriend,” he blurted eventually and with the look Levi gave him, he instantly regretted it. “I –, I’m so sorry, I know it’s none of my business, but I just thought that, that…” Eren huffed indignantly, turning his blushing face to the side and wishing he could just disappear right then and there. “Lee, do you have a boyfriend?”

Levi’s eyes widened at that and then he started laughing hysterically, rolling off of Eren and clutching his stomach from how much he laughed. Eren gaped at him, not being able to grasp the situation at all. What the fuck did he said that was so funny?

“Are you making fun of me?” he asked cautiously, frowning at the small boy rolling on his bed in a fit of giggles.

“Yes,” Levi spluttered. “Me? A boyfriend? That’s hilarious! Who would want to date someone like me? People would run away after getting to know me.” He sniggered again, breathing heavily.

Eren paused himself before speaking again, collecting the courage to continue. “Do, do you see me running anywhere?”

“But you…” their eyes met and Eren raised his eyebrows suggestively. Levi looked so taken aback he almost forgot to breath for a moment. “N-no, you don’t.”

“I don’t what?” Eren asked, he loved how Levi turned into a stuttering mess when a situation like this arose. But his own heart was now beating faster than ever, this was the moment of truth, for him, this was do or die. “What did Reiner mean by that, Lee?”

Levi shivered upon hearing that name, but he seemed to be determined to finally speak. “I have this diary where I write my thoughts, wishes and feelings. Or I did at least anyway. One day he found it and read it, I had everything in there, Eren, everything. It’s not like it matters anymore, I would burn that thing if I ever saw it again, because that world inside it, those feelings and wishes, they can never be fulfilled. The day you told me about yourself…” his voice broke with emotion. “I was so happy, because I thought I finally had a chance with you.”

Eren sat up straight faster than he ever did before, “Levi, what are you…”

“No,” Levi interrupted, “let me speak. I was so excited, I had it all planned. I wanted to tell you what I’ve been feeling ever since we were just kids playing in our backyard. I always knew it wasn’t just friendship that I felt, but I was never bold enough to admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. That’s why told Ymir and Historia, because they’ve been together for so long, I thought they would give me some advice on how to approach it. I was scared and desperate, I didn’t know they would break my trust in such a horrible way. I never wanted for anyone else to know, you trusted me so much and I ruined it.”

“Levi, I didn’t know…”

“And that’s alright, Er, that’s how it was supposed to be. I broke your trust in the first place, if I didn’t tell them, it would have never even happened. Reiner read that damn diary of mine and that’s how the abuse started. He thought I was weak, only pining for someone who could never love me. He told me I was a whimp, that I would never achieve anything I had written in there and that I would get to know the real world as _he_ imagined it. Of course, it was just a trigger, he would start doing it anyway, but the connection to my diary, to my orientation and do my feelings… it ruined everything for me. And then Ymir told basically everyone in school, I was devastated, Eren, I was so devastated I thought about, I thought about…”

“I love you.”

It was so sudden he didn’t even have the time to think about it. He just said it, he was so full of it he couldn’t contain it any longer. Eren didn’t care, he wouldn’t care even if Levi’s story had a completely different plot. But now that he did know the true, it liberated him and it made him feel even more, more love and tenderness towards they boy that almost got killed by life. Levi blinked, eyes wide, mouth slightly opened, fingers hands aimlessly searching for something to hold on. Eren caught them in his on brought them to his lips.

“But…” Levi whispered, “how?”

Eren chuckled, “how does the sun rise every day?”

Levi was silent, hot tears brimming his grey eyes, threatening to overflow.

“It’s just natural,” Eren answered himself quietly, caressing the boy’s cheek, small content smile playing on his lips.

“But I –,” Levi whimpered, “I was so bad to you. I have never been anything more than a burden.”

“You’ve always been everything I ever wanted.”

That was enough for Levi to break down crying, wetting the pillow and Eren’s shirt as he tried to hold him close. He sat up turning his back on Eren and sobbing into his knees, not willing to let the younger boy see him in a state like this.

“Oh, come on, love, I’ve seen worse than that,” Eren murmured, sneaking his hands around the older boy’s small waist and placing a tender kiss on his shoulder. Levi stiffened.

“Eren, I hope you know that, that I’m –, I’m not ready yet…”

“Who do you take me for, Lee? I thought you knew me.” Eren sighed, pulling away.

“No, I do!” Levi turned around abruptly, launching himself at the younger boy. “I know, I just, I don’t know why I’m so scared all the time.”

Eren smiled sadly, nuzzling his nose into they boy’s hair, “oh, you do. We both do. But it won’t keep me from loving you.”

“It won’t…” Levi repeated numbly, still unable to fully comprehend the situation he found himself in.

“It won’t,” Eren confirmed and he draped a blanket over both of them, making them disappear in each other’s warmth.


	11. That's not him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helooooo, it's been a long time, I know. I dropped out of uni and got myself a proper job, so I don't have much time on my hands at the moment. I completely forgot what I had written so far, so I had to reread the whole thing as to remind myself what was the story again. Ahahah, oh well. Here goes a filler chapter. Enjoy!

Rain was hitting the streets of Trost and trees were bending under the weight of thousands of raindrops landing on their leaves. Eren sped up, walking past the bus stop, clutching a plastic bag of groceries tightly in his hands so the contents of the bag wouldn’t get wet. His mother wasn’t at home and there was nothing left in the fridge, so he decided to go for a food hunt in hopes of not getting eaten by a hungry murderer. _You sound so dramatic, Eren_ , he thought to himself, _images like this should really boost your courage_. His speed walk quickly turned into a run for his life as more and more creepy images popped up in his head, scaring the crap out of the lone boy. But what was even more scary, and take this with a grain of salt, was what awaited him at home. There was this thing that he didn’t do which he definitely should’ve had done. Tell Levi.

“I’m home!” He shouted, slamming the door behind him, as he kicked of his shoes in an almost hysterical frenzy.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” An angry voice resonated through the corridor and a cold shiver ran down the younger boy’s back.

He snickered lightheartedly, “you were worried?”

Levi’s face was burning red and Eren couldn’t quite discern if it was because of embarrassment or anger. Before he could even notice, two small fists were hitting his chest in an unsteady pace.

“You idiot! You absolute idiot!” Levi whined, “he’s still out there! You don’t know what he’s capable of! I do, I do now, so I –, I can’t just – “

Eren dropped his bag of groceries with shock written all over his face, wrapping his arms instinctively around the older boy’s trembling form. “I know,” he whispered, “I know, I’m sorry. I just needed some fresh air and – “

He was cut off by a sharp and curt response. “Yeah!? You should be happy to still be able to breathe some!”

Eren closed his eyes, trying to collect his thoughts so he could convey some words of comfort to the other boy. “Look, I’m back now, aren’t I? I won’t do it again, I promise.”

“You better,” Levi muttered, burying his face into Eren’s shoulder.

The green-eyed boy laughed breathily, taking his friend by surprise as he swept him off his feet and started towards the living room. Levi yelped, intensifying his grip on Eren’s hoodie and pushing himself even closer as to not fall to the ground.

“Don’t worry,” Eren murmured, “I’ve got you.”

“I know,” Levi answered simply and there was something more behind those words they both were comfortable with to keep to themselves.

“So, the main question is,” the younger boy mused aloud, “what are we going to eat?”

“I don’t know, you’re the cook,” Levi giggled and Eren knew he managed to save the situation this time.

.

Eren’s mother barged in through the front door, not even bothering to toe off her shoes. “Boys! Boys, I have good news.” Her voice was elated, laced with relief. “They caught him, they caught the murderer!”

The first one to appear on the stairs was Levi, eyes wide, mouth open into a little ‘o’. “What?” he breathed, uncapable of any further movement.

“Yes! Yes, they did! You can now return back to school, back to your everyday lives!” The woman laughed, tears of joy streaming freely down her face. “First it was just a rumor and I didn’t dare to believe it, but then the police department issued an official statement. It’s true!”

There were careful steps coming from upstairs and soon Eren appeared behind his smaller friend. “That’s,” he choked, “that’s great.”

Silence fell upon the room as they all tried to comprehend the situation they’ve just found themselves in. And into the silence, there were small sobs escaping the thin lips of the boy who suffered the most.

“Levi, are you oka – “

“It’s fine, mom,” Eren cut the woman off, “I’ll sort this out.” She just nodded, heading to the kitchen to fix herself some tea.

“Lee,” Eren spanned the boy around and he collapsed into his arms, full on crying. “Lee, it’s okay now. Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby.”

Upon hearing that, Levi hiccupped, trying to silence his intensifying sobs. “I –, I –,” he mumbled, staining Eren’s shirt with tears and probably snot, which the younger boy was very well aware of, but still decided not to care. He sneaked his hands around the smaller boy’s slender waist and started rocking from side to side, humming a song they used to sing together when they played outside in the sand.

_It’s like a game where I’m building blocks. The bricks are waiting for my construction._

_It’s like a game where I’m building blocks. I see how my empty box lies beside me._

_Your hands tear down my walls with layers of dirt…_

The song doesn’t need to be sung for them to hear those words in their heads. It brings out memories and more pain.

“That’s actually a really sad song,” Levi whispered to Eren’s chest, “I’ve never even realized.”

“We were kids building sandcastles, as far as it fitted the theme…” Eren trailed, suddenly securing his grip on Levi’s back. “I won’t ever tear down your walls again,” he promised urgently, “but I’ll forever be waiting for you to let me inside.”

Levi stilled in his embrace and looked up to meet the other boy’s gaze. “You mean it,” he said, and it was more of a statement than a question. Eren placed a tender kiss on his forehead and gently caressed his cheek, smiling. “Don’t cry, let’s head outside now that the streets of Trost are safe again.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready yet,” Levi mumbled, toying with the hem of Eren’s shirt.

“I’ll hold your hand,” the other boy whispered and there was a silent agreement.

.

It’s been a few weeks since the city of Trost was freed from the threat that was Reiner Braun and Eren returned back to school with Levi in tow, which surprised not only his closest friends, but literally everyone else, since it became a norm that the two of them kept a notable distance from each other at all times.

“Everyone is looking at us,” Levi whispered nervously, trotting closely behind Eren as to not be seen by those hungry eyes.

“Don’t hold it against them,” Eren chirped, “I would be surprised too. After all, it’s been years since we talked in public.”

“I know,” Levi mumbled despondently, “sorry.”

“Don’t,” the younger boy shot him a glare. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“But…”

“No but, this is a closed topic for me,” Eren grumbled. “Let’s find the boys.”

Slender fingers wrapped around his wrist and he turned around to see Levi looking at him with fear in his steely eyes. “But,” he began once again, “what if they hate me?”

“Lee,” Eren sighed, “no one could possibly hate you.”

Levi beamed at him, the corners of his lips twitching as he tried not to smile too wide.

“Eren!” a loud voice bellowed from behind them and Levi jumped a little, instinctively retracting his hand from Eren’s wrist. It was Jean walking towards them from the parking lot. His hair was carefully styled, and he wore a new pair of skinny jeans with his perfectly clean Jordans. A cigarette behind his ear was of course a must. He stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Levi cowering behind the taller boy. “Levi?” he gaped, “Levi!” he shouted for the second time with a giant grin on his face and paced quickly towards the boy.

Eren could almost feel Levi’s beating heart and ragged breathing as he was approached by the bulky guy, and so he decided to intervene. “Jean! Do you happen to have the homework for trig? I forgot to do it!” he hurled those words before he could think of anything else and placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder before he could get to the small boy. He spent the whole evening doing that thing and it was tucked safely in his backpack, but what else could he say?

“Sure!” Jean crouched down to look for it in his bag, completely forgetting about his former actions.

Eren reached out his hand behind his back to reassuringly squeeze Levi’s forearm. Before Jean could find the asked paper, the bell rang, announcing the start of the first class.

“So,” Levi spoke, his voice almost inaudible. “I have p. e. now, see you later, I guess.”

“Don’t strain yourself too much,” Eren smiled, “I’ll see you at lunch.” They kept their gazes locked before Levi completely disappeared behind the corner. Eren felt a cold shiver run down his spine, feeling somewhat uneasy.

“Well, that was a lovey dovey situation,” Jean teased the second they were alone, prodding Eren into his stomach.

“Ouch, you ass,” Eren slapped him across the back, “don’t go running at him like that, he’s scared.”

Jean started laughing like a maniac, “scared? Ackerman, scared? That’s a fine joke you have there. Levi is the epitome of boldness.”

Not anymore, Eren thought to himself. Brave, yes, bold, not so much. He sighed, swinging his backpack on his shoulder, and started walking towards the classroom.

“You look down,” Jean noted, “I don’t know you like that.”

You don’t know me at all, Eren mused, gripping the door handle with all his might and bracing himself from all the curious looks he was about to get. Instead he saw something entirely different.

“Boys, you’re late!” professor Nile Dok scolded them, but it was for the first time ever since they met him that a smile was playing on his lips. “But,” he said in a singsong voice, “I forgive you, for there is a reason to celebrate!” He pointed at the screen and both of they boys shifted their gazes towards it. There were three pictures of a man staring creepily right back at them. The photos were taken from several angles, clearly mugshots. He was blond, quite muscular, with piercing blue eyes, and he held a blackboard with a number and a name. _Reiner Braun_.

Eren deadpanned, breath hitching in his throat, hands clammy. “That’s not him,” he seethed, “that’s… not him.” And he ran. Spinning on the ball of his foot, he slammed the door behind him and headed outside towards the sports ground.


	12. Eren, stop!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heelooooo everyone! I wrote another chapter! Please don't ask me what the fuck is happening, because I have no idea myself!! I've been trying to get off of antidepressants without my psychiatrist knowing, so maybe it left me with a srew loose in my head ahahahah. ANYWAYS, enjoy the chappy, don't hate me and please, GIVE KUDOS AND COMMENT, I'M A VERY NEEDY BITCH. :'(

“Levi! Lee!” He screamed, panic rising in his voice when there was no response from the group of boys playing football on the field. He got there, muscles burning and sweat trickling down his back, breathing heavily and trying to find his voice to call for him again.

“Eren, what the fuck?” Connie ran towards him, holding a ball securely in his hands. He was the goalie for the day and considering the score on the digital board, a very good one.

“Levi,” Eren heaved, “where is Levi…”

“Chill out, lovebird” Connie sniggered, “he texted me before the class. He said he came down with a fever, so he stayed at home for today.”

Suddenly, Eren’s face got drained of all the color. His eyes held a sheer look of a maniac on the brink of breaking down. He straightened his back, smiling back at his confused friend. “Is that so?” he murmured, “oh well, I must go get him then, mister Dok asked to see him.” And with those words, he turned around and left the school grounds.

.

When Eren got back home, his mother was still at work and the house was silent apart from the occasional grumbling sound coming from the refrigerator. Seeing all that, Eren finally got the chance to break out of his trance. He crumbled down to the floor, screaming as loud as his vocal cords allowed him. He gripped his hair and pulled, ripping some of it out. Eyes screwed shut, he bit his lip enough to draw blood. All of this was too much, he was about to lose it, he was about to lose _him_. And he couldn’t allow it, he wouldn’t allow it. _Get yourself together, Eren_ , he thought to himself, standing up straight and heading towards his room. And there it laid, right behind the stack of his schoolbooks that he hasn’t even touched ever since that night in Levi’s house. A baton that he stole from Reiner Braun. He took it without a second thought and with a certainty of a man who has nothing to lose, he headed towards that place once again.

How did he know he would be there? He didn’t. But the criminal was caught and the police patrols in the city were once again reduced to an occasional written fine into one’s mailbox. There was no reason for the man to stay in the shadows of the dark alleys. He could return back to where it all started, back to where it’s all gonna end. Eren hated every single cobblestone leading towards the house. He walked slowly, thinking about what he was about to do. He didn’t have any doubts, this was going to be the greatest achievement of his life. He secured his grip on the baton as stepped into the entrance hall. The doors weren’t locked, how thoughtless. Eren instinctively headed towards _that_ room, but then stopped dead in his tracks, when he heard noises coming from the basement. And so, he changed his direction as slowly as his racing mind allowed him. His steps were accompanied by muffled sobs and scream, his hand was pulsing with blood and venom and his head, his head was completely lost in a whirl of thoughts that were barely human.

There he stood in that empty room; body covered in blood that wasn’t his, towering above a small human body. Eren smiled, his heart filling with pride for getting there unnoticed. And just as he wanted to strike the boy laying naked on the concrete floor below him, the baton landed on its rightful place. There was a loud snap, each vertebra moving under the impact of the heinous metal thing. Eren cracked a lopsided smile, raising his hand to hit him again and again. Finally, he laid there covered in his own blood. As he should. Eren raised his hand once more, he felt like he hasn’t done enough, like there was something else that was missing for him to feel completely at ease.

“Er, stop,” a feeble voice resonated through the empty space. “He’s already dead.”

It was as if he has just woken up from a terrible nightmare. He finally got to see the mess he made through his own eyes, not the eyes of a complete lunatic.

“Oh my god,” he breathed, “what have I done?” He crumbled to the ground, landing in a puddle of blood, wetting his shirt and jeans. His breath was jagged, thoughts of reality just catching up with him. What was he now? What did _this_ make him? The room started spinning, _no, no, no, no, no…_ How will he recover? _Get it together_ , he thought to himself, _get it together, this is a rescue mission, so do the rescuing for fucks sake!_ He lifted himself and his dazed eyes landed on Levi. He just laid there, completely unresponsive. Did he faint? Did Eren’s actions make him so sick that he actually lost consciousness?

The younger boy got up and walked towards the small body, crouching down and picking it up in his arms. Why was this happening? Where was Levi’s mother when he needed her the most? Where the fuck was everyone? Eren closed the door from the basement with a silent thud, he will have to find a key later.

“Err…” Levi suddenly whined, cheeks wet from more tears streaming down his face. “Put me down… it, it hurts.”

“I let it happen again,” Eren growled through gritted teeth. “I’m so terribly sorry.”

He didn’t return to Levi’s room, for he thought that that things that have been done there might not be the best to remind of the other boy. Instead he opted for the living room, as it was the cleanest part of the house. He eyed Levi cautiously, taking in all of the damage that’s been done.

He placed a careful hand on the smaller boy’s abdomen. “Lee,” he whispered, “did he, did he…”

Levi smiled through the pain, “no,” he said, “you were quick enough this time. It’s just my ribs, he hit me and now I feel, I feel like I can’t breathe right.”

A tear slipped from the corner of Eren’s eye. He felt so relieved, his hands started shaking and he clenched them into fists. Too much was happening in the same time. His breathing was rapid, and in his head, he tried to quickly overcome the panic attack he was having. Then his sight landed on Levi’s bruised chest.

“You need a doctor,” he choked, “I need to call an ambulance.” He pulled out his phone, dialing the number almost as if he was in a trance.

“Eren, no!” Levi whimpered, raising his hand to dig his fingers into Eren’s thigh. “Stop it, you’ll reveal us like this, you’re turning yourself in!”

The green-eyed boy finally caught up with what he was doing. He gasped, tapping on the red icon. The phone stopped ringing before someone could pick up and both boys felt a wave of relief wash over them. Eren bit the inner side of his cheek, thinking about the options they had.

“What if,” he croaked, voice weak, “what if he did something to you? What if they’re not just bruises? Lee, you need a doctor, I can’t risk losin – “

“I can’t risk losing you either,” Levi cut him off. “They’re just bruises,” he said, but wasn’t so sure himself.

Eren sniffled, shuffling forward and leaning down to gently kiss Levi’s cheek. The other boy smiled, heat creeping up on his face. “I must at least get you home, you need a bath and a lot of rest.” He was just about to pick the boy up, when he heard the words that pierced his heart like a poisoned arrow.

“I don’t have a home anymore.”

“Your home is with me.”

As Eren carried Levi’s small form out of the house, he felt hot tears wetting his shirt and the grip on his shoulder was safe and secure. Levi trusted him and Eren had no intent to break that trust. He snatched the keys of Reiner’s car from the hook and gingerly laid Levi on the backseat.

“Hang in there, love,” he whispered, “it will all soon be better.”

.

Eren parked the car in their garage, thinking it would be safer that way and no one would ask any questions. His mother can park in the driveway after all. He almost felt as if the history was repeating itself, picking out the worst moments and making them relive them, causing as much pain as it was physically and mentally possible. Now it wasn’t the time to ponder about that though, Levi needed attention and care. This time, the small boy didn’t even find it himself to protest when Eren took of the rest of his torn-up clothes. The blush spreading all over his face and neck was enough to indicate that he didn’t want to be touched.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” Eren mumbled again and again as he was cleaning Levi’s wounds, trying to rid him of all the dried blood that seemed to be all over his petite form.

When he was done, he took the exhausted boy into his room and collapsed onto the bed next to him. Though he made sure to cover him with as many blankets as he could find first, as to make him comfortable enough, until Levi looked like a big ball of colored cloth. He rubbed his eyes and sighed, trying to not think about the thing that he has done. There was a bony hand reaching out to him from under the blankets, gently stroking his arm. Eren looked at Levi, who’s eyes have been watching him intently.

“You saved me again,” he said. “I don’t know how to repay you.”

Eren blinked, not knowing how to respond. “Live,” he then told him, “if you live, that’s enough for me.”

“Eren,” Levi sobbed, his hand clutching Eren’s wrist. The younger boy sat up straight, alarmed. “Please, hold me,” was all the other boy said, desperately trying to pull Eren down.

And so Eren did, he scooted closer and gently pulled Levi onto his chest, all the time being fully aware that the boy was still naked. He hugged him over the sheets and Levi sighed contently. The history really did repeat itself.

“How did you know,” Levi whispered. “How did you know where I was?”

Eren shrugged, his mind still wandering, “a hunch.” He felt the older boy smile against his skin and he pressed a soft kiss into his raven hair. “If I hadn’t made it,” he added after a while, “I would never forgive myself.” Levi shuddered and Eren began to stroke his arms in a comforting manner. He tried to avoid all of the painful places, but still heard Levi hiss in pain as he touched an injured spot. He sighed, holding up Levi’s petite hand up in the air and watching the sunrays dance on his pale skin. Levi observed his actions with wide eyes, his cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink.

“I’m so scrawny,” he sighed, a light frown forming on his forehead.

“Don’t do that,” Eren scolded, “you’ll get wrinkles.”

“But I am, why couldn’t I grow up a little bit more?”

Eren knew that it was a rhetorical question, but somehow still decided to give a response. “So that you could fit into my arms so perfectly,” he said, and it was so cliché and cheesy that they both started laughing quietly.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.”

Eren sighed, “but we can’t, can we? Somehow, we have a body to dispose of and I’m not sure,” he choked out, voice trembling, “I’m not sure if I can take the consequences.”

“You are my savior,” Levi whimpered, blinking his eyes to push back the unshed tears.

“I am a murderer,” Eren retorted and there was no other way around it, because it was true.


	13. Kiss me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, this fic is already so much longer than "I give you home and you give me purpose". And it has like four times less clicks than the other one, ahahah. That just shows ho many directioners are still on that shit. I'm sorry to all those who asked, but I won't continue the other story. I'm actually thinking of orphaning that thing, because I grew to really detest it. Oh well, I'll see.  
> ANYWAYS, this chapter is really cute, but also not. I wish you a happy reading and I also wish you would comment more, because I NEED IT. Also give kudos and whatnot. I love you all, but I love Levi Ackerman more, so suck it. Byyeeee! ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

The ride to the Ackerman’s house was awfully quiet as Eren’s mind wandered off, trying to depart itself from his body in a futile attempt to forget. Eren gritted his teeth, clutching the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. He parked Reiner’s car in its former place, trying to make it look as if nothing was out of order. He got out, leaving the key in the ignition, and he headed towards the main door. The day was almost over, streetlamps flicking on one after another, the sun hiding behind the hills and trees. Eren was alone and he wasn’t sure if he could do this, if he could make it alone. With trembling fingers, he reached out his hand and opened the door. It made a low sound as the hinges quietly protested the disturbance. He couldn’t delay this any longer, he needed to… he had a body to bury. The air was heavy in his lungs, and he gasped for it as if there wasn’t enough. His legs were wobbly as he approached the basement, guilt settling in the pit of his stomach. He opened the door, fumbling for the light switch.

“There it is,” he muttered as he finally turned the lights on and blinked into bright space in front of him. He then blinked again, turning around, lips moving without any words coming out of them. “What the fuck,” he uttered, horrified. The body was gone.

The first thing that came to his mind was utter relief. He wasn’t a murderer, was he? If Reiner Braun was alive, then he wasn’t a murderer. But what if that wasn’t the case? What if someone else took the body? What if they knew? Eren’s breathing became somewhat erratic and he fell down onto his knees. How could he even think like that? What about Levi, what about the one he loved the most? Yet again, he left him alone. And yet again, it wasn’t safe for him out there. Who was the man the authorities mistook for the real culprit? Where was Levi’s mother? Where was Reiner Braun?

“I am not a murderer,” Eren whispered to himself, “I am not a murderer.” It was like waking up from a nightmare just to find out he was in another. He needed to go to Levi, he needed to tell him.

.

Eren ran almost the whole way home. His legs hurt and he felt adrenalin rushing in his veins. For a split second he thought about going to the police, but then changed his mind when he thought about the consequences he could face if he did that. He needed to talk to Levi, he needed those arms wrapped around his chest in a comforting manner, he needed to smell that lovely scent of apples and cinnamon. Eren closed his eyes momentarily, speeding up as he passed the grocery store and turned onto the familiar street.

He didn’t even remember how he got pass the main door and the living room where his mother was seated, his mind only caught up with him when he barged into his room, meeting the frightened gaze of his loved one.

“What is it?” Levi asked, voice laced with worry and fear. “Did something happen?”

Eren raked his eyes over Levi’s body, finding nothing out of the ordinary. What was he even looking for, more wounds, more pain? “Everything is okay,” he answered as silent tears streamed down his face. He took the final step and collapsed onto the bed next to Levi, embracing him in a warm hug and burying his face into his hair.

“What’s wrong, Er?” the smaller boy pressed, giving into the hug, going pliant against Eren's body. “You look confused.”

Eren looked down to meet Levi’s concerned gaze and his heart swelled with love. He gently caressed the boy’s pale cheek, causing it to turn a light shade of pink. “I am not a murderer,” he simply stated and as expected, Levi’s eyes widened, lips pressing into one thin line.

“What does that mean?”

“That means,” Eren said, careful, “that the body is gone. It just, it disappeared.”

“Oh,” Levi said and Eren felt him shiver in his embrace.

“Oh, indeed,” he responded, worrying his lower lip in deep thought.

Levi shuffled under the blankets, trying to find a more comfortable position, but instead whimpering in pain. Eren gingerly lifted him up and placed him between his legs so that he could rest on his chest. Levi sighed, pleased with his newly gained position. “What are we gonna do?” he asked and the fear in his voice was almost palpable.

Eren shrugged, “we’ll wait. It’s all we can do after all.”

“Okay.”

Then it became awfully quiet with only the television downstairs being a background noise to their silent musing. Eren stroked Levi’s arms over the blankets, now skillfully avoiding all of the painful places.

Levi suddenly sighed, “I need to study, the biology test is tomorrow, and I can’t afford another bad grade.”

The response came in a heartbeat, “what?” Eren spluttered, “are you telling me that you’re going to school? Did you,” he fumed, “did you forget what happened like, I don’t know, today?!”

Levi smiled, “I can’t run forever, now, can I. Can I borrow some of your clothes, mine are kinda dirty…”

“You mean bloody,” Eren corrected and pushed himself up, earning a whine of discomfort from the older boy. “I’ll see what I can find.” He rummaged in his closet and then threw a pile of colored fabric for Levi to catch.

“A tracksuit?” Levi squinted at him, face unreadable.

Eren blushed, “I thought it would look cute,” he mumbled in his defense. “I wore it when I was little and – “

“What do you mean when you were little?!” Levi sputtered, eyes twinkling with rage. “Are you saying that I’m little?” He got to get up, momentarily forgetting about the fact that he was still naked and accidentally revealing the parts of his body he certainly didn’t mean to reveal. Eren looked at him, blush now spreading all over his face and neck, foot restlessly tapping on the floor. “Okay,” Levi hissed, “I’ll take your stupid tracksuit.”

Eren’s face split into a wide smile and he turned to wait outside the room while Levi changes. After a few seconds he heard a low grumble, which gave him a signal that he could enter.

“Aww,” he cooed, “you look adorable!” He took a step closer and embraced the smaller boy in a tight hug. “I hope you don’t mind being called adorable,” he mumbled into his hair and gently guided him back towards the bed. Levi didn’t say anything, he just hummed, but there was a small content smile present on his thin lips. “You know,” Eren spoke again. “I don’t really know what will happen now. I’m actually really confused…” he paused, looking at Levi in a silent muse. “But, I’m also glad. I –, I didn’t kill.”

“I’m glad too,” Levi added, but Eren could see the fear in his eyes when he said those words.

“Lee, I know I shouldn’t make any more promises when I can’t keep them,” he took Levi’s hand in his and softly stroke the palm. “But believe me when I tell you, that I’m not leaving you out of my sight. It’s gonna be hard, we have different schedules, but I will somehow arrange it so that we will attend the same classes. And I will walk you to the cafeteria and sports grounds,” he rambled, trying to persuade himself more then the other boy. “I can’t see you getting hurt again, I don’t know how I would – “

“Kiss me.”

Eren snapped his head up, eyes widening in plain shock. “Wha –, what?!”

Levi frowned, “don’t make me repeat myself,” he grunted.

There was pin drop silence followed by quiet shuffling as Eren moved himself closer. “Lee, are you sure, I don’t wanna seem pushy or – “

“Oh, shut up,” the older boy muttered and met Eren halfway, their lips collapsing in a sloppy kiss.

And it was perfect, just as Eren imagined for all those nights when he laid in bed thinking about the exact same moment. Levi’s lips were soft and sweet, and they molded perfectly with his own. Eren wanted to continue, he really did, but then Levi’s breath wavered, and he knew he had to pull away. He opened his eyes and saw that Levi was already looking at him, his expression almost fearful. Eren smiled at him and planted a soft kiss in the corner of his mouth.

“You taste so sweet,” he mumbled and brought the smaller boy closer to him, so he could relish in his presence for just a bit longer.


	14. I love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lately I've been something like a writing machine. I barely even sleep, I just go to work, write and watch anime. I finished Happy Sugar Life and I think I'll have a forever trauma from that damn thing.  
> ANYWAY  
> This chapter is the cutest thing ever, don't you dare fight me. Levi has warmed up to Eren and is ready face whatever shit that may come his way with him by his side. I SHIP IT... I. S.H.I.P. I.T.  
> P.S.: My friend from England read a piece from this fic and told me that my english was shit. I mean, SORRY, Y'ALL HAVE TO DEAL WITH MY SHITTY ASS ENGLISH.  
> P.P.S.: Comment, give kudos, shower me with your endless love.

“Give it to me, you slob,” Connie yelled, “I said give it to me!”

Jean laughed like a maniac, clutching a piece of neatly folded paper in his hand high in the air and out of Connie’s reach. He waved it around as if it was a kite and jumped in utter exhilaration.

“Ooooh, I know what it is, I know!” he hollered. “I’ve read it and even my fancy parts went red from what’s written there!”

Connie blushed and bowed his head, thinking about the next possible step that he could take. Suddenly, he launched himself forward and wrapped his legs around the taller boy’s waist, skillfully climbing his lean torso, pulling his hair in the process, which he really wasn’t sorry for, and finally reaching for the paper in his hand.

“Ow, are you trying to scalp me, you beast?” Jean whined, massaging his head with one hand and wiping the tears of laughter with the other.

Connie stuck his tongue at him and rolled his eyes, “you deserved it, mister nosy pants.”

“What are you guys fighting about?” Eren suddenly appeared in front of the two, suspicion rising in his eyes.

“What are you guys NOT fighting about?” Connie retorted, brows rising almost to his hairline as he pointed at Levi standing silently right behind the taller boy.

“None of your business,” Eren barked back and intuitively grabbed Levi’s hand.

“Aaaaand, there goes your answer,” Connie snickered, waving the paper in the air and disappearing behind the corner.

Jean scratched the back of his head in thought, but the sneaky smile stayed on his lips. “Springer is about to make a move on Braus,” he whispered loud enough for everyone around them to hear and then ran after his friend, loud cackles echoing through the hallway.

“Did that idiot just said that out loud?” Levi asked, disbelieving.

“Yep,” was all Eren said and pulled the older boy towards the biology lab.

Since trying to persuade the teachers to put the two boys into the same class, even for just a short period of time, was proven useless, Eren decided to escort Levi to each and every one of his classes. The smaller boy whined and protested, telling Eren that there was no danger awaiting him inside the school building, but they both knew that internally he was grateful for those gestures of attention.

“I’m glad Connie’s going for it, though,” Levi continued his musings, “I wouldn’t dare to be that straightforward.”

“You were pretty straightforward yesterday,” Eren remarked and laughed when he saw how flustered Levi has become. “Hey,” he put a finger under Levi’s chin and made him to look up. “I’m very happy that you were, you know. You need to tell me how you feel, because I sure as hell won’t be the one to ever make the first move.”

“The class has already started,” Levi simply stated, not meeting Eren’s eye.

Eren sighed, “yeah, you should get going.” He then turned to leave but was abruptly stopped by a small hand gripping the hem of his hoodie. Levi stood on his tippy toes and pressed a quick peck on Eren’s lips before disappearing in the classroom, leaving the stunned boy standing alone in the hallway.

.

“I know this is probably coming at the wrong time,” Eren spoke up as he clumsily turned the bacon on the pan, skillfully avoiding a splash of sizzling oil.

Levi looked up from his chemistry textbook with a questioning stare, “what is?”

Eren bit his cheek, eyes darting towards the older boy and back to the pan. “There’s a fair downtown and I thought that maybe, that, well, think we could, um…”

“Go?” Levi finished with a smirk and it was so conceited that Eren blushed even more. There was a short silence. “I would love that,” the grey eyed boy then added softly and turned to another page.

Eren smiled at the food he was making and there were small crinkles by his eyes as he did so. Life went surprisingly well, and whether he liked it or not, that might not be a good thing. He added some eggs to the pan, watching the live process of denaturation which he saw in Levi’s book just minutes ago. Humming quietly, he divided the content of the pan onto two plates which he then brought to the table.

“Thank you,” Levi mumbled, picking up the fork.

“You seem odd,” Eren said, “Is there something wrong, Lee?”

For a minute, Levi seemed to be contemplating whether to share what was on his mind or not. But when he finally met Eren’s concerned stare, he sighed in resignation.

“Mom called,” he muttered.

“She did?” Eren gaped, excitement imminent on his features.

Levi chewed on the bacon, a small frown finding its way onto his perfect face. “She said she’s in Yalkell, Eren,” he rubbed his eyes violently with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “She, she said she wasn’t coming back,” he hiccupped, hot tears suddenly streaming down his cheeks.

Eren dropped his fork onto the plate and walked around the table to sit next to the small boy. He slipped one arm behind Levi’s back and the other under his knees, bringing him onto his lap. “It’s okay, love,” he mumbled, rocking from side to side.

“It’s not,” Levi whimpered, “she just, she just left me there alone with him. She never even bothered to explain herself. I was so worried, so worried about someone who didn’t give a shit about me.”

Eren gritted his teeth and screwed his eyes shut, anger boiling inside of him once again.

“What, what would’ve had happened if you didn’t find me back then?” Levi asked quietly and shivered. “She wasn’t there to see, she wasn’t there to know how bad it had gotten. I know that all that shit got to her first, that’s why I shouldn’t be mad at her for leaving. But it still hurts.” He sniffled, burying his face in the nook of Eren’s neck.

“But I did find you, didn’t I?” Eren murmured. “I found you and you healed, and you lived,” he brushed his lips on the pale skin of Levi’s temple, leaving a soft kiss on his pulse point. “You’ll see, maybe she’ll come around.”

“And maybe she won’t,” Levi whispered, calming down a bit.

“Yeah,” Eren just said, securing his grip around the other boy’s fragile frame.

.

The day was already nearing its end when they got into the heart of the fair. People were mingling all around them, wide smiles present on their faces as well as cups of beer in their hands. Lots of stands, lots of fairy lights, lots of heart shaped Nutella waffles, lots of fun, but mainly…

“A Ferris Wheel,” Levi breathed and for a while he looked like a little kid. He looked as if everything he went through had never really happened. 

“You wanna go?” Eren offered shyly, scratching the nape of his neck.

Levi beamed, nodding vigorously and getting a hold of Eren’s hand to pull him towards the attraction. Eren gladly obliged, following the smaller boy’s footsteps with a bashful smile on his lips. They bought tickets, Levi stubbornly insisting that he could pay for himself, but coming up short when he found out that that he in fact didn’t have much money left.

“Today’s on me,” Eren murmured jovially and snatched the tickets out of the surprised lady’s hand.

“But,” Levi stuttered while being pushed towards one of the cabins. “That would mean that…”

“That what?” Eren asked, watching a man close the door behind him.

The wheel moved upwards in a slow motion and suddenly it was too quiet.

Levi shuffled, “that it’s a, it’s a…”

Eren raised his eyebrows, patiently waiting for Levi to voice himself. The land was ever so slowly disappearing under their feet and soon they were at the top of the Ferris Wheel, watching the fare splaying out in front of them like some kind of a movie scene. There were groups of friends hanging around with little children playing amongst them, old people could also be seen at the stalls with gingerbread and handmade pottery, but mostly it was young couples. Eren almost forgot Levi was about to say something when the older finished his sentence.

“A date,” he muttered.

Eren blinked, looking at the other boy who was now huddling in the corner of the cabin, pressing his nose on the window glass and pretending he didn’t say anything. It was adorable and Eren wanted to pull him onto his lap and shower him with kisses. He coughed, trying to get any weird thoughts out of his head.

“And you would,” he spoke quietly, abashed. “You would mind?”

Levi turned to look at him, locking his ankles behind Eren’s calf and sitting up straight. Yet again, he looked out of the window and then back at the younger boy, a spark of curiosity igniting in his eyes.

“I would not,” he shrugged.

“Then that’s what it is,” Eren responded and felt some kind of new warm feeling spread all over his body.

All of a sudden, Levi stood up and moved himself to sit on the opposite side of the cabin, earning himself a surprised whine from Eren who abruptly scooted to the corner as to make some space for the other boy.

“You know,” Levi grunted, “I’m still not used to ask for such things, but fuck it, I guess. Could you ki– “

Eren’s lips were on his before he could even finish the sentence, leaving him speechless and out of breath. The kiss was still slow, but this time less sloppy and more coordinated, almost as if they both knew what the other one needed. Eren knew better than to pry his way into Levi’s mouth, but before he realized it, Levi was letting him inside voluntarily, showing him his vulnerable side just like that. Eren carefully licked into Levi’s mouth, testing the waters, but meeting no resistance whatsoever. And so he continued, touching every inch of Levi’s mouth and lips, savoring the taste in an indescribable bliss. Finally, he pulled away, but had to kiss him once more just to remind himself that this was real. Levi’s face turned a lovely shade of pink, but his neck and ears were burning red.

“I love you, you know,” Eren whispered.

“I lo – “

“Gentlemen, the ride is over, I would appreciate if you did this elsewhere.”

An old man in a sailor hat was standing by the entrance, holding the door open for them. They looked at him, then they looked at each other and burst into laughter, waving their hands apologetically and disappearing with a quick bow.

“What an annoying geezer,” Eren lamented in faked annoyance, “I was about to get my first confession and he fucking blew it.”

Levi grinned at him and pressed himself closer to his side. “I love you too, Er,” he said and squeezed the younger boy’s arm in assurance.

Eren sighed, the smile on his face was now impossibly wide and cheesy, but he couldn’t care less. He got his first confession of love. And it was coming from the one he loved the most. There was nothing that could ruin his happiness. Or at least that’s what he thought…


End file.
